While we were in bumper to bumper traffic:
WickedStepMom: I am so tired of snow.
Bear: Really? I thought you liked snow.
WickedStepMom: I usually do, but these people… They make me so mad.
Bear: So, you don’t dislike snow. You just hate people. You won’t have to seasonally change your club stationary, if you just hate people.
WickedStepMom: Isn’t having an “I Hate People” club kind of hypocritical?
It’s Tuesday again. And I am finally feeling a little like myself again. So, stick around and read some randomness, then head over to see Keely. She will appreciate you.
* Hot dogs are apparently out to get us. They can kill teenagers if you aren’t careful. I say we ban them from the planet and feel them to our enemies!
* The Gnome in my sinuses if finally getting his eviction notice. But, you know how the court systems work, they still have to give him time to appeal and get an attorney. Personally, I hope the little jerk is broke!
* I found that one thing that all three of the kids will eat. Tortillas. I called them my little tortilla bandits. Bear admonished me for complaining that they ate something.
* The other night, we heard someone in the house while we were in bed. Bear listen for a few minutes and the noise stopped. He went down stairs, to investigate. No one was there. We have been invaded by ninjas!!
Because he shows me videos like this.
If you are a parent to a teenager, you know one thing better than anyone else… no matter what you say, you are probably wrong (at least to the teenagers). And if you tell them more than once, you are definately wrong.
So, when the opportunity to say, “we can be right” came up last night, Bear had to run with it…
The Mother Hen: Mrs. [Geometry teacher] said that since I have been working so hard on my math and staying after school with her to work, whatever grade I get on my final, I will get in the class. She wants to see my hard work pay off and knows that since I didn’t do well in the beginning, it could really hamper my grade.
Bear: How does that make you feel?
The Mother Hen: Pretty good.
Bear: Remember I told you that if you show that you are trying, the teachers will work with you? So, maybe we can be right.
The Mother Hen: Yeah, I know, Dad. You were right. (Insert frustrated sigh here…)
It’s that time again. It is time to get all of your randomness, spew it out in some sort of coherent sentences and send it to Keely. She will probably not love and treasure it but she will atleast let you put your site in Mr. Linky, who will love you no matter what you did last night.
* The Wii Fit finally yelled at Bear! It said to him yesterday, “Have you seen [The Mother Hen] around? Per haps you should pay more attention to her.” I laughed until I cried.
* The Tyrant has said on numerous occasions that people “rub things in her face.” While I believed her, I never actually witnessed it happening until this weekend. The scene is my aunt’s driveway. The issue, both The Mother Hen and The Tyrant want to ride in the front seat.
The Mother Hen: Move, [The Tyrant], I am riding in front.
The Tyrant: It’s my turn.
The Mother Hen: I will get squished.
WickedStepMom: Both of you just get in the car.
The Tyrant gets in the back.
The Mother Hen: Ha! See, I told you! You are too, young and I will get squished.
WickedStepMom: Don’t worry, [The Tyrant], she has no problem sitting back there with her boyfriend. She will not sure this excuse again. Also, when we get home, The Mother Hen and I are going to have a little chat.
The Tyrant: Okay, [WickedStepMom], I know you will fix it. Thanks.
The Tyrant knew that her sister was going to get into trouble but didn’t taunt her about it. Part of me expected her to, especially after the way she was taunted. I am very proud of her for the way that she handled it.
* The Tyrant and The Show have been competing on the Wii Fit. It’s pretty funny to watch them both fight for a high score. About once a day, The Tyrant will shout and jump up and down yelling, “I won! I won!” Considering that there is a 4 year age difference this is a pretty big deal. The Show always congratulates her.
Bear and I have been working on the Wii Fit almost daily. If we skip one day, we are back on it the next. I am very proud of the way we have both been able to commit to it. The Mother Hen has not been as dedicated. About six months ago, she was after us for a gym membership. She has the best of intentions but doesn’t always follow through.
Now, the Wii Fit has been harassing me every day asking where The Mother Hen has been. It is not bugging Bear about her, but its picking on me. Bear thinks the Wii Fit hates me. I tend to agree with him. I think the thing has it in for me. Seriously, it always has something bad to say. ”Your leg is a little shaky!” “You’re swaying a little!” “You need to pay more attention to [The Mother Hen]!” This thing is out of control! It needs to start yelling at Bear or me and Wii Fit are going to have some words!
So, as I mentioned before, Bear and I have been using the Wii Fit. The Mother Hen was suppose to be joining us, but that is a rant for another day. Lets just say that laughing at others while they are trying to exercise does not burn calories…
Anyway, the other day, I was PMSing and feeling all fat and bloated. I got on the Wii Fit and it measured my weight. I had gained a pound. So, it wanted me to give a reason. Since none of the choices said “PMS”, I selected “I don’t know” because I hadn’t been over eating or doing anything crazy like that. The following day, I got on the Wii Fit and I still had the additional pound. It said “Yesterday, you selected ‘I don’t know’ as the reason for gaining weight. Let’s try not to use that excuse… er.. reason frequently.” I started yelling at it, “Well it’s not like I could select PMS, you a-hole! I am bloated and feeling fat already, you jerk! I don’t need you to rub it in my face!”
Perhaps. the Wii fit is not the best plan when you are PMSing.
Go see Keely, who has managed to write an entire RTT post without the mention of gnomes. Because she is creative and funny, unlike me. Don’t worry, I will still love you if you think she is funnier than I am.
* My parents got the Tribe a Wii and the Wii Fit. The Wii fit has been used by Bear, The Mother Hen and I quite frequently lately. My calves absolutely hate me for it. This game has only reinforced what I already know about my self. I have no rthyme and no balance. Watching me try to work out to the Basic Step routine has provided hours of entertainment for everyone in our house.
* A spider was hanging out in my shower the other morning. Now, I am not normally an “EWW BUG!!” kind of girl. But this spider really stared to bug me. I can only assume it was because the spider was able to see me naked and I know that I am horribly out shape (see calve comment above…) I felt like that spider was judging me. I wanted to scream, “Hey pal, I know we can’t all be 3 ounces!” That makes me a little crazy, doesn’t it…
* The Gnome that has taken up residence in my sinuses, has decided to lay eggs. All of my sinuses are effected now, instead of just the right side. I look like I have two black eyes. It will be another month before I can see a sinus specialist, so you are stuck listening to me whine until then… Hopefully, there will be no surgery involved.
* The day after Christmas, I was looking at our tree. It is a white tree decorated with blue ornaments. It has stars, stockings, icicles and various globes that came from a multipack. We have had these for about three years. But the day after Christmas, I noticed for the first time that the stars are all Stars of David. Now, I am wondering if I should send my Stars to the Keeper Family for their tree.
* The Gnome that has moved into my sinuses has gotten very comfy in there. He just won’t leave. Maybe the ENT doc will find a way to get him out. If not, I think it will turn into nuclear warfare… and that just won’t be good for society as a whole. I mean, who wants nuclear winter over my sinuses?… Yeah, I didn’t think that you did. So, you’re welcome. But if this goes on too much longer, it is on, Mr. Gnome!
* Bear e-mailed me this morning. This is what he wrote:
[Bear's REALLY Annoying Co-Worker]~ said I was too “chipper” this morning and suggested that “If I didn’t know better, you got lucky!” I said luck had nothing to do with it…killing two homeless people with one shot is SKILL.
He didn’t laugh.
~Name changed to be more appropriate this his given name.
* Bear, like my mother, has a very defined set of taste buds. He does not like to deviate from the normal. (And he wonders why I can’t get The Tyrant to eat another other than tacos…) I told him that I was going to take The Mother Hen out for some mediterranean food.
Bear: You hate peas!
WickedStepMom: Chickpeas are different!
Bear: Chickpeas are just peas that stay home and watch chick flicks with Hugh Grant in them.
WickedStepMom: They taste different…
Bear: Chickpeas are just peas that “WANT TO BE HELD!”
(Can you see why I love him? He is seriously awesome and can always make me laugh.)
* The Mother Hen has a new boyfriend. He is an okay guy. The Show and The Tyrant like him, which is saying a lot. But, I just can’t seem to let my guard down. I think it is because I have seen boys make The Mother Hen cry. Stupid, stinky boys…
*The Tyrant looked at me this weekend, with daggers in her eyes. I wouldn’t let her have a new toy at the store (partly because I had already bought her stuff and partly because there has to be something under the tree). She stomped her foot and said, “Mommy is nicer than you.” I grinned, “She is also taller.” She just blinked at me.
* The Show is really excited about cheerleading. In order to make the varsity team, she needs to learn to do a back walk over. I have no idea how to do this, so I suggested she look up how to do it on YouTube. This was a bad, bad suggestion…
It has become kind of tradition for Bear to get me new boots during the X-mas season. I love this gift because all winter long, my feet are warm and dry. This may not seem like a big deal but when you living in Michigan and have questionable health anything that can keep you from getting sick, is the best thing ever.
This year, in addition to my boots, he got me a balaclava. It’s a neoprene face mask that covers my nose and mouth. Since the cold air sends me into coughing fits, this thing totally rocks. I get a warm face and warm breath without the bulkiness of a scarf. It is really a win-win.
The other day, Bear expressed concern that this was not enough for me. Some of his coworkers were commenting that woman like “romantic” gifts. And that she could be buying me jewelry not winter gear. This guys can take a long walk off a short pier. I happen to be allergic to most jewelry. (I know, go figure, right?) Nothing says romance like hives!
I told him that I am very happy with my gifts. To me, keeping me healthy is better than a trinket that I can look at. It shows me he cares because he make sure that I am safe and warm. Maybe, I should have held out for organic ice cream?