If you don’t know the drill by now, go see Keely… she is less grumpy than me today.
* I have to wait a month and a half for my nose to get fixed… This wouldn’t be so bad, if it didn’t fall right in the middle of golf season! I mean, seriously, this has been going on 8 months and now, they decide they are going to fix it, DURING GOLF SEASON!
* First we had a 24 hour stomach bug running through the house and now we have a head cold trying to take over. Tea, chicken noodle soup and juice for us!
* I ordered some granola bars from a private seller on Amazon. They shipped it secure mail through FedEx and wouldn’t let anyone sign for it, but me. “For security reason.” So, they got sent back to the seller. Apparently, Homeland Security and FedEx are really concerned about what will happen if the granola bars end up in the wrong hands.
*Quote of the week once again goes to the Tyrant: “What is wrong with you guys? YOU CAN’T SHIP DONUTS!!”
While we were in bumper to bumper traffic:
WickedStepMom: I am so tired of snow.
Bear: Really? I thought you liked snow.
WickedStepMom: I usually do, but these people… They make me so mad.
Bear: So, you don’t dislike snow. You just hate people. You won’t have to seasonally change your club stationary, if you just hate people.
WickedStepMom: Isn’t having an “I Hate People” club kind of hypocritical?
It’s Tuesday again. And I am finally feeling a little like myself again. So, stick around and read some randomness, then head over to see Keely. She will appreciate you.
* Hot dogs are apparently out to get us. They can kill teenagers if you aren’t careful. I say we ban them from the planet and feel them to our enemies!
* The Gnome in my sinuses if finally getting his eviction notice. But, you know how the court systems work, they still have to give him time to appeal and get an attorney. Personally, I hope the little jerk is broke!
* I found that one thing that all three of the kids will eat. Tortillas. I called them my little tortilla bandits. Bear admonished me for complaining that they ate something.
* The other night, we heard someone in the house while we were in bed. Bear listen for a few minutes and the noise stopped. He went down stairs, to investigate. No one was there. We have been invaded by ninjas!!
Today, I am going to present to you a list of things that you should never google search:
1. Open Septorhinoplasty: Especially if you need to have this done. It is not a good idea. Google loves to give you helpful pictures.
2. Dick’s Sporting Goods: There is a chain sports store called Dick’s. It is never a good idea to google this.
3. Slow Computer: Chances are really good that your computer will end up with a virus if you click on any of the links.
4. How to kill your stepmom: This one is just mean… Seriously.
It’s not you… it’s Amazon. They made a Kindle app for the PC. It’s not the I am neglecting you, I just love my Kindle more. I will see you in a few months. Please make sure you don’t leave your dirty socks in the living room and that your dishes make it to the sink.
(P. S. Please read this with the sarcasm that it is dripping with.)
It’s Tuesday again. I know, I am as surprised as you are. I mean, when are these things, like once a week now? Go see Keely for a badge and some laughs.
* The Tyrant was trying to describe someone to me the other day. She said, “She is old. Not like really old like Daddy, but just a little old… like you.” You are the source of my gray hairs kid!
* I made Bear a cherry chip cake with chocolate icing. He is still losing weight. I have gained 2 lbs. Jerk…
* Working out everyday with the Wii Fit has its advantages. I can smugly look down my nose at those who do not exercise. (Alright, fine, I may have to smugly look up… But, I can still be smug!) I feel all proud of myself until they switch trainers on me and the bendy pretzel chick takes over… I hate her on general principles.
* Sometimes, I forget that the Tribe is unique. We are all pretty close knit and have a bunch of inside jokes. Sometimes, we will just tell each other one so we can get a laugh. In mixed company (non-Tribe members), we get some pretty funny looks. It wasn’t until Bear’s sister in law said to me, “I am so jealous that you guys are so close!” that it really hit home how unique we are.
* Final random thought, the new phrase to be banned from our house is “rubbing it in my face.” Bear declared it a swear word last weekend and threated to rub someone’s face in soap. I had to leave the room because I was laughing too hard.
Keely, the zombie executioner, is not a slacker. I, however, am a huge slacker. I hope that my lethargy lately has not caused her to think I am a zombie.
* I am not sure what has gone on lately, but I have been in a writing slump. I have read other blogs and can think of nothing good, intelligent or funny to say. I almost feel like I should at least comment something like “WickedStepMom was here. She just can’t think of what to write today.” Then people would know that I stopped by. But, I would have to leave that same comment over and over. So, people would really start having a problem with me. ::sigh: Anyone have any ideas to get me out of the commentary slump?
* The wii fit and I are back to going steady. He is just really mouthly. The other day, I was trying a yoga pose (which I am not very good at because my balance stinks), and it says “You are pretty shaky! It’s hard to get the correct pose if your core muscles need work!” I just rolled my eyes and continued to try to keep my balance so I would not brain myself on the basement floor.
* My new ENT has been really wonderful. He is using the aggressive approach against my sinus gnome. He made me a special mix of nasal steroids that make my throat burn but the sinus gnome disappear.
* The Tribe has had a few ups and downs lately. I think it is partly because the holiday season is over and we are all back to a normal schedule. And there are no more presents to open. Settling back into the routine has been a little harder than normal. I am hoping that we all get back to ourselves soon.
* Two out of three of our girls are dating. I keep saying boys are icky but they don’t believe me. So, I am thinking that there may be ice cream and hugs in the near future for one of them. I just hope that the one left not dating doesn’t feel bad or feel left out.
* It is truly sad when our society is feeling so horrible about itself, that people have to literally get lost in a movie. We watched Avatar and thought the movie was pretty good. We were entertained and we left the theater after having a good time. To us, it was just another movie. But, I really think it says something about our world today when people out there honestly are having depression symptoms because they can not leave in a fantasy world. It says that we are doing something very wrong.
It’s Tuesday, its not a holiday. I feel safe again… Go see Keely for some non-holiday cheer!
* According to the Wii Fit, my BeautifulPeople.com account should be cancelled. Its sites like this that make sure that our teens have no self-esteem. I hope they are proud of themselves and their plastic surgeons.
* There have been so many holiday parties and craziness going on. I am so glad that they are over. I just can’t believe that I actually survived. Between food allergies and everything else, I normally don’t eat a whole lot during the holiday season. I usually survive on snack packs of granola that I made for myself before we leave the house. This year, everyone was really kind and made sure that the food was safe for me to eat. I ate more holiday food than I have since I was a kid. I am so sick of it now, I hope I don’t see holiday food for several years!
* We just got Netflix back. So we will be watching disk 2 of Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends this weekend. I am looking forward to hunkering down with the kids to watch some silly cartoons.
So, as I mentioned before, Bear and I have been using the Wii Fit. The Mother Hen was suppose to be joining us, but that is a rant for another day. Lets just say that laughing at others while they are trying to exercise does not burn calories…
Anyway, the other day, I was PMSing and feeling all fat and bloated. I got on the Wii Fit and it measured my weight. I had gained a pound. So, it wanted me to give a reason. Since none of the choices said “PMS”, I selected “I don’t know” because I hadn’t been over eating or doing anything crazy like that. The following day, I got on the Wii Fit and I still had the additional pound. It said “Yesterday, you selected ‘I don’t know’ as the reason for gaining weight. Let’s try not to use that excuse… er.. reason frequently.” I started yelling at it, “Well it’s not like I could select PMS, you a-hole! I am bloated and feeling fat already, you jerk! I don’t need you to rub it in my face!”
Perhaps. the Wii fit is not the best plan when you are PMSing.
Over the weekend, we decorated the house. My winter village has been set up on top of the TV. Last night, Bear put his keys on top of the TV before bed…
Bear: “Did you see my keys?”
WickedStepMom: “Check the TV.”
Bear: “Found them!”
(As he picks them up, all of the trees from my village fall over. It was a domino effect that took out all the greenery.)
WickedStepMom:” Tree Killer.”