It’s Tuesday again. And I am finally feeling a little like myself again. So, stick around and read some randomness, then head over to see Keely. She will appreciate you.
* Hot dogs are apparently out to get us. They can kill teenagers if you aren’t careful. I say we ban them from the planet and feel them to our enemies!
* The Gnome in my sinuses if finally getting his eviction notice. But, you know how the court systems work, they still have to give him time to appeal and get an attorney. Personally, I hope the little jerk is broke!
* I found that one thing that all three of the kids will eat. Tortillas. I called them my little tortilla bandits. Bear admonished me for complaining that they ate something.
* The other night, we heard someone in the house while we were in bed. Bear listen for a few minutes and the noise stopped. He went down stairs, to investigate. No one was there. We have been invaded by ninjas!!
If you are long time reader, you probably already know about the famous food wars in our house. I have never found a meal that all Tribe members have liked. But, I think I finally found something that may work, for at least a few weeks.
The Tyrant is by far our choosiest (pickiest…) eater. But she loves tacos. So, when I made tacos last weekend, (which by the way, The Show hates…) I took the left overs and put some pre-made tacos in freezer bags. They are officially Emergancy-Tyrant-Meals. Do you think there is a market for it?
It’s Tuesday again. I know, I am as surprised as you are. I mean, when are these things, like once a week now? Go see Keely for a badge and some laughs.
* The Tyrant was trying to describe someone to me the other day. She said, “She is old. Not like really old like Daddy, but just a little old… like you.” You are the source of my gray hairs kid!
* I made Bear a cherry chip cake with chocolate icing. He is still losing weight. I have gained 2 lbs. Jerk…
* Working out everyday with the Wii Fit has its advantages. I can smugly look down my nose at those who do not exercise. (Alright, fine, I may have to smugly look up… But, I can still be smug!) I feel all proud of myself until they switch trainers on me and the bendy pretzel chick takes over… I hate her on general principles.
* Sometimes, I forget that the Tribe is unique. We are all pretty close knit and have a bunch of inside jokes. Sometimes, we will just tell each other one so we can get a laugh. In mixed company (non-Tribe members), we get some pretty funny looks. It wasn’t until Bear’s sister in law said to me, “I am so jealous that you guys are so close!” that it really hit home how unique we are.
* Final random thought, the new phrase to be banned from our house is “rubbing it in my face.” Bear declared it a swear word last weekend and threated to rub someone’s face in soap. I had to leave the room because I was laughing too hard.
It is Tuesday. Its time for more random thoughts and purging the mental sludge that has been rolling around my brain all week. Thank goodness Keely thought of this. Otherwise, I would have to torture Bear will all my bloggy fragments.
* Pizza topping are worth fighitng for in our house. If you are not careful, you will end up with a whole pizza with mushrooms and pinapple. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy pinapple. However, mushrooms just aren’t my thing. And really, there are two members of the Tribe that eat them, everyone else pretty much screams “Eww” like a girl. (No, Bear does not like mushrooms either…)
* I made some pork in the crockpot over the weekend. I added cream of mushroom soup, some garlic and a few other things. Bear and I thought it smelled delicious. Everyone else in the house gagged. (Even the mushroom eaters.) Turns out the dish smelled very similar to a dish they had eaten before and absolutely hated. And if you have been reading here for a while, you know dinner time is very dramatic for us. It was worse than normal. Mushrooms are officially banned from the house.
* My sinuses have slowly been getting better. I haven’t had any nose bleeds in a few weeks and I am having fewer problems over all. Hopefully, I will be able to skip surgery.
* Cheer season is coming to an end for The Show. She is going to have a competition soon and is hoping to make the football sideline cheer team in the fall. She has really thrived on the sport. She loved gymnastics when she was younger and now she gets to combine that with her bubbly personality and shout a lot. This really is a great thing for her. I hope she can stick with it!
* I was having a really rough day yesterday. I am feeling better now. Bear is always great about making me feel better. This time, The Mother Hen helped out too. Its a wonderful feeling to know that you belong and that people care.
* The Tyrant asked me to issue a warning to call teenage girls out there. Were-boyfriends are on the loose everywhere. If they bite you, you turn into one. So please, protect your necks!
It’s that time again. It is time to get all of your randomness, spew it out in some sort of coherent sentences and send it to Keely. She will probably not love and treasure it but she will atleast let you put your site in Mr. Linky, who will love you no matter what you did last night.
* The Wii Fit finally yelled at Bear! It said to him yesterday, “Have you seen [The Mother Hen] around? Per haps you should pay more attention to her.” I laughed until I cried.
* The Tyrant has said on numerous occasions that people “rub things in her face.” While I believed her, I never actually witnessed it happening until this weekend. The scene is my aunt’s driveway. The issue, both The Mother Hen and The Tyrant want to ride in the front seat.
The Mother Hen: Move, [The Tyrant], I am riding in front.
The Tyrant: It’s my turn.
The Mother Hen: I will get squished.
WickedStepMom: Both of you just get in the car.
The Tyrant gets in the back.
The Mother Hen: Ha! See, I told you! You are too, young and I will get squished.
WickedStepMom: Don’t worry, [The Tyrant], she has no problem sitting back there with her boyfriend. She will not sure this excuse again. Also, when we get home, The Mother Hen and I are going to have a little chat.
The Tyrant: Okay, [WickedStepMom], I know you will fix it. Thanks.
The Tyrant knew that her sister was going to get into trouble but didn’t taunt her about it. Part of me expected her to, especially after the way she was taunted. I am very proud of her for the way that she handled it.
* The Tyrant and The Show have been competing on the Wii Fit. It’s pretty funny to watch them both fight for a high score. About once a day, The Tyrant will shout and jump up and down yelling, “I won! I won!” Considering that there is a 4 year age difference this is a pretty big deal. The Show always congratulates her.
We have all heard them. Many of us have even said them. Those disparaging little comments about ourselves that we say when we think no one is paying attention.
”I am too fat.”
”I am too short.”
”My nose is too big.”
“My hair is too curly.”
“My butt is too big.”
These are the words that I fear most. I fear them because I don’t want the girls to say them. I try really hard not to make them about myself. I try even harder to bust them when they say these things about themselves. I fear that they will think this is an acceptable and normal thing to do.
I fear that their confidence will rely solely on thier outer beauty. If they judge their self-worth by how others view their outer beauty, I will feel like I failed as a parent. This is my biggest fear.
The Show: “You owe me a penny! You bet me that there is no Sweet Home Alabama in this song.”
The Mother Hen: “No, I said that this song is not named Sweet Home Alabama.”
The Show: “You did not! You owe me a penny!”
The Tyrant: “Look, I will give you both a penny if you be quiet.”
The Tyrant and The Show have dreams of being dictators one day. They have different plans about how they will conquer the world. They even draw out plans for torture devices so that they can achieve their reign of terror. (I know, I am demented because I think it is cute.)
When we pass police cars on the side of the road, they will open the car windows and shout “World Domination” before ducking down in the back seat. It is the one thing that they do together without arguing. (If you saw how much these two argued, you would realize the magnitude of that statement….) One of their many schemes involved poisoning drinking water and selling the antidote to people who obeyed them. Another involved taking over a small country by showing them magic. I think our house is bug though… This was latest scheme. An exercise cult is what they called it but, the idea is the same. Sorry ladies… I guess this plan will fail.
The Mother Hen: [WickedStepMom] you have to decorate cookies with us. You can’t leave that plate sitting over there with a bunch of naked cookies!
WickedStepMom: I made the cookies for your guys to decorate…
The Show: Yeah, but now, there are four plates, and we can’t have a plate of nudist cookies. It’s just not right! My entire holiday will be ruined because you have left the cookies naked!
The Tyrant: Yeah, I mean, you will get our cookies arrested and they will have to spend the night in cookie jail. I don’t want to eat jail-bird cookies!
The Tyrant than hurried to get the cookies dressed…
* The Gnome that has moved into my sinuses has gotten very comfy in there. He just won’t leave. Maybe the ENT doc will find a way to get him out. If not, I think it will turn into nuclear warfare… and that just won’t be good for society as a whole. I mean, who wants nuclear winter over my sinuses?… Yeah, I didn’t think that you did. So, you’re welcome. But if this goes on too much longer, it is on, Mr. Gnome!
* Bear e-mailed me this morning. This is what he wrote:
[Bear's REALLY Annoying Co-Worker]~ said I was too “chipper” this morning and suggested that “If I didn’t know better, you got lucky!” I said luck had nothing to do with it…killing two homeless people with one shot is SKILL.
He didn’t laugh.
~Name changed to be more appropriate this his given name.
* Bear, like my mother, has a very defined set of taste buds. He does not like to deviate from the normal. (And he wonders why I can’t get The Tyrant to eat another other than tacos…) I told him that I was going to take The Mother Hen out for some mediterranean food.
Bear: You hate peas!
WickedStepMom: Chickpeas are different!
Bear: Chickpeas are just peas that stay home and watch chick flicks with Hugh Grant in them.
WickedStepMom: They taste different…
Bear: Chickpeas are just peas that “WANT TO BE HELD!”
(Can you see why I love him? He is seriously awesome and can always make me laugh.)
* The Mother Hen has a new boyfriend. He is an okay guy. The Show and The Tyrant like him, which is saying a lot. But, I just can’t seem to let my guard down. I think it is because I have seen boys make The Mother Hen cry. Stupid, stinky boys…
*The Tyrant looked at me this weekend, with daggers in her eyes. I wouldn’t let her have a new toy at the store (partly because I had already bought her stuff and partly because there has to be something under the tree). She stomped her foot and said, “Mommy is nicer than you.” I grinned, “She is also taller.” She just blinked at me.
* The Show is really excited about cheerleading. In order to make the varsity team, she needs to learn to do a back walk over. I have no idea how to do this, so I suggested she look up how to do it on YouTube. This was a bad, bad suggestion…