Writing Crisis

Posted On December 8, 2008

Filed under life, Out of my element, self

Comments Dropped 11 responses

So, I am having a little crisis of faith. I feel like I can’t write. Not that I don’t have anything to write about but that I can’t. I managed to hurt someone with my writing, again! And I am now scared to write. I am afraid of hurting someone but I am also afraid of what not writing means. I took a break over the last few days from reading blogs and from even thinking about writing. It left me feeling empty. Empty from the joy of working on a blog entry. Empty from the charge that I get from writing. So, now, I am not sure what to do. I mean, I have finally started opening up again and finally started really writing again and now I am scared.

Anyone else out there ever have this problem?  How did you get past it?

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11 Responses to “Writing Crisis”

  1. Jenny

    I am so glad you are back! I’m coming out of lurkdom to tell you that you were sorely missed. I am not a writer, but sometimes I try to feel like one. I have a family blog and would love to write some of the things/issues I am feeling or dealing with, but I can’t. They are too personal.

    I don’t know what to tell you except, Keep Writing! If we tried to make sure we never offend or hurt anyone, then we would never do anything! As long as you did not hurt the unnamed person on purpose, I think you are fine with still writing. And like my mom always said, No one can ‘make’ you feel hurt or mad or sad, etc. If you didn’t mean to hurt this someone, apologize, give them a hug, and then continue writing.
    I think I’m rambling.

    (BTW, I am a stepmom, too. Any ideas?)

    • awickedstepmom

      You want honest advice on being a step-mom? Know that they are going to hate you at first and live with it. Nothing you can do and trying to force the issue will only make it worse. Don’t tell them to call you Mom. It will just hurt everyone involved. And trust yourself and your instincts. Know what your role is between yourself and your husband and know where you stand with his kids in his mind. That is all you can really do.

  2. Erin

    My husband and I used to get in these huge fights over my blog. He often felt he’d be perceived in a negative light to the people who read me.

    After a couple of years of arguing like this we resolved that he wouldn’t read my blog anymore and I wouldn’t call him by name. He’s known as my husband or my man.

    I feel like I can write a little more freely; however, I still hold things back.

  3. Sprite's Keeper

    Keep trucking, girl. Sometimes you will hurt someone with something you write ( I did with my SIL, but apologized for it and moved on), but as long as your intention wasn’t spiteful, they should understand and forgive.
    If writing makes you happy, don’t let someone else’s feelings control what comes out of your thoughts. Just review the stuff you write, maybe pass it by them if it’s about them, and if they have any problems, you can get it out of the way before it all comes crashing down.
    Good luck!

  4. Kristan

    I think this is part of why I’m a fiction writer — the label alone lets me protect myself and so many people.

    But even with that label, you can’t hide from the people who know you and recognize themselves in your writing. I’m certain it’s an issue that every writer struggles with at some point. I know I have, and my boyfriend has. I think the conclusion I’ve come to is that true friends will understand and forgive, even if they don’t like it or agree. I hope you find this true for you as well.

    (Btw, here via Shamelessly Sassy. Your comment broke my heart, for the sake of your older daughter, and all of you for having to endure such a cruel comment from the “bio-mother.”)

  5. Lea

    If I worried about hurting someone everytime I wrote something or even said something, I’d be a writingless mute. I don’t set out to hurt anyone and sure I am sorry if I do and let them know so, but I really can’t be responsible for what others think about what I write.. especially if something is bothering me.

    Just write. If you need to temper what you write, then re read your stuff a few times, make the changes you might think you need to make and then publish it. I re read my stuff a few times, but usually the best I write is the first things I write..

    Good luck.
    Lea

  6. sammanthia

    I’m sure it’s happened to all of us at one point and I all I can say is that if you’re writing from your heart then you have nothing to feel bad about. Sure, apologize to the person/people you hurt and do what you can to work it out with them, but don’t let it stop you from writing. Maybe take a little break, but don’t let someone’s insecurites or whatver get in the way of what you love to do.

  7. Saffa Chick

    My husband doesn’t read my blog, but my Dad does, religiously! I think that censors me more than anyone ese could…

    Sometimes I vent into a draft post, then rewrite or delete it when I’ve calmed down, but I can’t imagine what you’ve written here to cause offence. If anything your posts are exceedingly cautious.

    Good to have you back – I hoped you’d come back again.

  8. Tricia

    Ughhh!! I know this is the one thing you’ve been most fearful of since beginning your blog, and the very thought is so difficult, but you obviously have a huge and kind heart and there is probably not a malicious bone in your body. If someone feels hurt because of something you wrote, the hurt wasn’t intentional. If this person cares about you, an explanation should suffice, right?

    I’ve had multiple family feuds over my blog. A 20-year friendship ended after I wrote something, and it has changed some of what I write or how I write it, but I’m still determined to write the truth (when I’m not writing drivel). Don’t stop writing if it means so much to you, but talk to your family and maybe they need to feel empowered to ask that some things are off limits for them? I don’t really have any words of wisdom. I think it’s a balancing act and each person has to walk their own tight rope, but I just hope you don’t stop.

  9. Smilf

    I am glad you are writing again – it really is so therapeutic! That is why I’m happy that no one knows about my blog other than the 3 ladies who write with me. None of my family, friends, etc. know about it, not even my husband. I think he would take issue with the fact that I throw our “dirty laundry” out there for the world to see. I just hope no one ever sees it that would take issue with it because it’s an amazing place vent. I hope you can continue to write and figure out how to do so to make yourself and everyone else happy. :/ Good luck!!

  10. halfasgoodasyou

    I get that way at least once a week. I’ve started pushing out posts that I think are less than stellar to avoid not posting at all. Sorry you hurt someone with your writing (I’m going backwards here since I haven’t stopped by in awhile so I’ll see what you’re talking about next). You gotta write for you man, it’s YOUR blog…

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