What’s in a song?

Posted On January 30, 2009

Filed under funny quotes, life, parenting, The Spin Cycle

Comments Dropped 9 responses

First things first, I would like to say that I do enjoy “Love Story” by Taylor Swift. It is fun to sing along to when the kids are in the car.  But, it truly scares me on a few levels.  Its funny how being a parent can change your perspective on what should be a fun and catchy tune.

It has a nice pop melody and the words are cute.  But, here is where things start going wrong…

“That you were Romeo you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you please don’t go, and I said:

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I’ll be waiting all there’s left to do is run
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess
It’s a love story baby just say yes”

If you paid attention in high school literature, you probably read Romeo & Juliet by William Shakespeare.  If you didn’t, like most kids today, you think of Romeo & Juliet as the ultimate love story.  Star crossed lovers, defying their family and friends to be together.  Let be honest though, when was the last time that your parents truly hated someone that turned out to be the best person in the world?  Heck, when did that person even turn out to be not so bad?  I will tell you for me, it has never happened.  Granted in Romeo & Juliet, the parents would have hated the arrangement solely on the fact that their families were feuding.  But, that really doesn’t happen very often in today’s world.  The song only get worse…

“Romeo save me I’ve been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head, I don’t know what to think
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring

And said:

Marry me Juliet you’ll never have to be alone
I love you and that’s all I really know
I talked to your dad go pick out a white dress
It’s a love story baby just say yes”

This part scares me for a few reasons.  First, it suggests that someone can save you from feeling lonely.  I don’t think that is possible.  You have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else.  If you can’t stand to be alone, you will latch on to anyone who gives you positive attention.  Anyone who has even been in an abusive relationship knows how much of a bad idea that can be.  Second, “Romeo” has talked to “Juliet”‘s father and some how managed to change his mind.  Because I am a cynic, my brain immediate thinks that money or favors have changed hands.  If that is the case, then “Romeo” may feel like he owns “Juliet” since he had to pay for her. 

Besides all of my reservations about the song and the lyrics, the main characters are Romeo and Juliet.  Things didn’t end well for them.  By the end of the story, Romeo’s family was cursed, just about everyone was dead and they did not end up together.  So, I tell my girls, with regard to this song…  “I don’t care how much you like a boy, stabbing your heart out with a large hunk of metal is never a good idea.” 

(Just in case you are unfamiliar with the end, Romeo poison’s himself because he thinks Juliet is dead.  Juliet wakes up from a coma like state to find Romeo poisoned.  Then, she stabs herself in the heart with his dagger.)

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Disappointed

Posted On January 29, 2009

Filed under frustration, life, rant, soap box

Comments Dropped 5 responses

I have found myself lately very disappointed with humanity as a whole.  Every day, we hear more and more about people and their collective indifference to everyone around them.  Is it a sign of the economy?  Is it a sign of the times?  Is it a sign that we really are doomed to repeat the mistakes of Rome?  Have we really turned into a “me-first” society?

Maybe it is because I am looking for it but I have found a lot of things in the news lately that just makes me sick.  Genosideis occurring around the world and we turn a blind eye to it.  Companies knowingly let tainted foodmake it to the consumer.  People care more about themselves and their own entertainment than someone that died. You see it everyday, people cutting in front of other in line at the grocery store.  People slamming each other on the Internet.  Signs announcing “Please end cell phone conversation before…” (Because people are that rude and they won’t end their calls even in the doctor’s office.) 

What happened to the sense of community that our parents and grandparents had?  Not so long ago, if a child was starving, and you invited them to share a family dinner you were thanked.  Most of the time you weren’t, because it was what was expected.  Now, if you do the same, you will be lucky if the police don’t show up at your door asking loads of questions about your motives for feeding a starving child.  Maybe this the reason we are a me-first society?  Is it because we are too scared of the consequences of doing the right thing?  To me, that doesn’t even make sense.

What we really need is a good old fashioned zombie apocalypse. 

Because, lets be honest.  Nothing brings humanity together like the walking dead…

A light at the end of the tunnel

I know I haven’t written in a while so this is not a recent event.  This actually happened a few weeks ago.  But, it was important for the Tribe and needs its own place on the blog.  It is why we were driving in a snow storm. And why it was so important to make it there in one piece.  We got to go to a wedding as the Tribe for the very first time.  And not just any wedding a second marriage.  (For those of you who don’t know, Bear and I are not married.)

The groom was Bear’s cousin who has several kids from a previous marriage.  The bride was a wonderful, not-so-wicked lady who would be their step-mom.  The wedding was a modest and cozy affair.  There were exactly 5 chairs per table, which was wonderful because the Tribe had a table all to ourselves.  The other tables were far enough away that we were able to just chat amongst ourselves until after dinner.  The bride and groom were thrilled and the groom’s children all had huge smiles on their faces.  It was amazing to see especially since they had such an uphill battle to fight over the years.  The children’s mother was a very unstable individual and spent a lot of time trying to make life hard on all of them.

After dinner, we danced and visited with everyone from out of town.  Bear’s parents live 6 hours away, so the girls were able to get some quality grandma time in with her at the wedding.  The girls and I danced almost all night.  The Mother Hen, The Tyrant and I even tried a few line dances that we didn’t know.  One was the Cupid Shuffle.  The Show wasn’t brave enough.  And I must admit that really surprised me.  After a little while, The Tyrant got too hot and felt sick to her stomach.  So, we went to cool off by the exit doors.  After a few minutes, she looked up at me and said, “I think I am going to throw up.”  So, we rushed to the bathroom.  She did get a little sick and I put cool towels on her head and neck. Then, the hard decision came… she wanted a drink and I had to leave the bathroom to get her one.  That would mean leaving her there alone while I ran to go get it.  So, after a few minutes, I kicked off my heels and ran for a drink.  I almost collided head first into Bear.  He kept pace with me and I filled him in.  Both The Mother Hen and The Show came into the bathroom with me after that.  The Tyrant was sitting with Bear’s sister.  (Thank goodness she was there!)  She was starting to feel a little better and we gave her the drink.  Bear ended up in the ladies room too, since it was only us and his sister in there at that point.  We ended up all huddling in the bathroom for about 15 minutes, until The Tyrant was sure she felt better.  We sat at the table for a total of 10 minutes, and in typical kid fashion she was back on her feet running around and dancing. 

The Show and I share a love of Billy Idol, so she asked me to request “Dancing with Myself” so that we could dance to it.  The DJ didn’t have it, so we ended up getting stuck with “Mony, Mony.”  Its not a bad song, it is just way over played.  We danced to it anyway.  The entire floor ended up filling up with people dancing and we started to form a circle.  People were dancing in the middle and then falling back into the circle.  All three girls were too chicken to go in the middle, so I did.  Then they mobbed me!  It was like they had secretly planned to all jump in if I did.  We almost fell over and two people had to help us get back in the circle without injury.

The last two songs that we danced to were “7 things” by Miley Cyrus and “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” by Cyndi Lauper.  All three girls had put in the request for the Miley Cyrus song because they wanted the four of us to dance together to it.  Half way through “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun,” the groom approached me and said that we needed to wrap things up.  Apparently, the pipes in another part of the building had burst and we needed to clear out soon.  The night ended early, but I am kind of glad that is did.  I mean after all how often do you get to break a building and have pizza afterwards!

How Fortunate

Posted On January 25, 2009

Filed under Uncategorized

Comments Dropped 4 responses

Thank you everyone for all the well wishes!  I am feeling loads better and while not fully recovered I am at least full coherent again.  Or at least as coherent as I was before I got sick.  So, thank you bunches!

It has become our tradition to get Chinese food once every two weeks with some co-workers for lunch.  Bear and I have offices fairly close to each other and so we get together with some of his co-workers and some of mine and have a huge Chinese food lunch.  This has been going on so long, that if my co-workers and I miss it due to a meeting, everyone asks Bear where we are.  This past week, we had our Chinese food lunch.  We got our typical orders, sweet and sour chicken for him and chicken lo mien for me. At the end of the meal, I held out the fortune cookies for everyone to choose from.  Everyone picked a cookie in turn and I took what has left over. We always read our fortunes out loud to everyone.  Some of them are funny and some of them are serious, but what happen when we destroyed our desserts has never happened before.  In eight years of tradition, we have never had a matching fortune but this time Bear and I had the exact same one.

“You will make many changes before your settle satisfactorily”

 

After this weekend, I have to say two things.  I am amazed how true our fortunes turned out to be.  And Chinese people don’t actually eat fortune cookies.

Ugh…

Posted On January 22, 2009

Filed under frustration, life, self

Comments Dropped 6 responses

I have so much to write about but I feel like absolute garbage.  Stinking bronchitis sucks!  Anyway, I will be taking a little hiatus to feel better.  Hopefully, I will get back to writing very soon!

Giggly Bushes

Posted On January 20, 2009

Filed under bonding time, family, funny quotes, life

Comments Dropped 8 responses

Bear’s brother, who spends a lot of time in northern Michigan, has a saying for a snow-mobiler in the ditch.  He calls it going into the giggly bushes.  Because after you crash, all of your buddies point and giggle.  This saying came to mind as we were driving for three hours in a snow storm to a wedding last weekend.  Several people were in the ditch.  If you are unfamiliar with driving in the snow, this may not surprise you.  But, as we were driving, the roads were mostly clear, and it really looked as though the people that ended up in the ditch were driving poorly.

After about an hour of seeing cars in the ditch about every 5 miles or so, the girls were starting to get nervous.  So, Bear and I started doing the only thing that we could think of.  Every time we saw a car in the ditch we would shout “Giggly bushes!!” The first time we did this, the kids were stunned for a moment before they started laughing.  The next time, when we shouted, the girls joined in.  The Mother Hen and The Show started keeping count of the number of times that we shouted.  We passed the time shouting and laughing at people who were driving so badly they ended in the ditch.  When we arrived, the first thing they did was tell their uncle, “We saw like 30 people in the giggly bushes!”

What If

Posted On January 16, 2009

Filed under life, Out of my element, The Spin Cycle

Comments Dropped 6 responses

This week in the Spin Cycle, we have the opportunity to play “what if…”  So, I started to think about it.  What if…  What if I could go back in time and make all the wrong things right.  What if I could change things so that none of the bad things in my life happened.  Would I go and change everything?  If I changed one thing would it change everything in my life now?  Would I mess up the happiness I have now in order to remove those bad memories?  The more that I think about it, one change could change everything.  For example, if I went out of state for college because things were different instead of staying local, I would have never met Bear.  If I never met Bear, I wouldn’t have my happiness now.

So, when I think about it long enough, and I ask myself, “Would I change things?”  My answer is absolutely not.

One more reason the technology scares me…

Posted On January 14, 2009

Filed under frustration, life, parenting, rant, soap box

Comments Dropped 7 responses

I was reading a few news websites the other day and stumbled upon this.  The article talks about 6 teens who are in Pennsylvania that have child pornography charges against them.  What did they do, you ask?  Well, apparently three girls (under the age of 18) sent nude pictures of themselves to three boys (under the age of 18).  There are many things about this article that I find highly disturbing.  First, it never states if the boy prompted the girls for the photos or if the girls just sent them the photos.  It also doesn’t say who reported it.  But this article had me thinking about all of those questions.  I wondered if someone could get into trouble just because someone else sent them a picture and they deleted it.  Or if the crime came into play because the picture wasn’t reported?  The other thing that really bothered me was when did taking nude pictures of your teenage self become so popular?  I remember being a teenager and feeling awkward for most of that time period.  I didn’t want my picture taken with my cloths on!  So, why did teens become so comfortable with themselves.  The last big issue I have with this is the charges.  To me, they seem a little harsh.  After all, in most states, convicted sex offenders must register on a list and notify their neighbors and anyone that they work with.  So, can you imagine these kids going door to door throughout there neighborhood announcing this?  And later in life, when they have a real job they have to report it to everyone that when they were 15 they sent a naked picture of themselves to someone else and are now permanently on the sex offender registry.  Hopefully, PA won’t make this piece of it a requirement.  But, it just seems over the top, if you ask me.

Take a minute and talk to your teenagers about this.  I know I will be talking to my girls.  I have always told (every time a new sex tape scandal hits the news..) the best way to avoid this kind of trouble is not to take the picture in the first place.

Stories that need to be told: Part 1

I have been thinking a lot lately about how to tell the girls some really important stories.  Stories about their father and about other important people in their lives.  I guess it really started when Bear and the Tyrant had an all out pistols-at-dawn argument.  They were both hurting so bad and part of me wanted to wrap them both up and say that everything would be okay.  But, the other part of me knew, it was a battle that needed to be fought.  So, The Mother Hen, The Show and I watched the heart ache unfold and did our best to not let them see that we were hurting too.  It was this argument that made me think of a story that Bear told me. 

Right after The Tyrant was born, she developed jaundice.  Her skin was yellow and she looked sickly.  The doctors told Bear that she needed as much sun light as possible to help break down the illness.  The Tyrant was born at the tail end of March, in Michigan.  There was very little sunlight to be found.  So, he wrapped her up in a ton of blankets and put her in her car seat.  He carried her out of his truck that had tinted windows, but was parked in the sunniest part of the yard.  He opened the windows and blasted the heat, tried to expose as much of her skin to the sun as possible. As the day would progress, he would move the truck so that she would get the most sunlight possible.  Her skin started to look more baby pink and less yellow.   He did this every day from sun up to sun down for two weeks.  The jaundice left her and she was a healthy baby from that point forward.

It occurred to me, as she was slamming a door in his face, that she had never heard this story.  And, I know Bear would never tell her this story, because he doesn’t like to make himself sound like he is Mr. Wonderful.  I realized it would be up to me to tell her.  I decided to write this story and others that need to be told here.  Maybe they will be able to look back at this one day and read these stories.  Hopefully, I would have already told them before they read them here.  This is part 1 and I am sure that there will be more to follow.

Guilty

(A Spin Cycle Entry)

I am sure all step-parents go through this but I wonder if bio-parents do too.  Sometimes, when the house is full of kids, I long for it to be just Bear and I.  Then, I feel really guilty about it.  Because, it’s not that I don’t want them around, just alone time is nice too.  Othertimes, when it is just Bear and I, I wish the kids were around.  Then, I feel really guilty because I know that we can’t keep them all to ourselves.

Does anyone else go through this?  How do you deal?

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