Day Off

Posted On February 27, 2009

Filed under frustration, life, parenting, self

Comments Dropped 8 responses

Someone remind me of this again soon.  I am been feeling a little overwhelm lately.  Like I just need a day off to recover.  So, today, I am taking it.  I am taking the day off from all of the things listed above.  I might even take tomorrow too.

Things change

Posted On February 26, 2009

Filed under life, self, The Spin Cycle

Comments Dropped 5 responses

 

I walked past you today, for the first time in a long time.  You made eye contact with me.  I think it was the first time you ever really saw me.  I kept me head high and I looked right through you.  Unafraid.

I broke your power over me today.  Today, I was no longer scared.  I took the first step on the path of being whole.   And it was right in front of you.  You can never take that moment back.  I will never look at you the same again. 

My best friend was with me.  But, I didn’t need him.  He was right there, but I would have walked there without him.  My sword-brother never left my side.  I have a protector now.  Even if I don’t need him.

Things change.

Another reason I am scared for teenaged girls

Today, I read a story that just disturbed me. Two 16 year old girls were running their own brothel, by recruiting other teen girls. And the first thought that I had, was “Are you serious?”  This thought was quickly followed by, “Where were the parents?”  I am sure a lot of people think that when they read this story.  But my question is about when they were running the brothel, it was well before that.  Where were the parents when they got the idea that selling yourself for prostitution is okay.  Where were they when they rented an apartment on their own?  Where were they when these girls were gone at all hours of the night?

I know that prostitution is the oldest profession.  And I know, some people don’t have much choice.  There can be all kinds of reasons.  But, these girls are still in high school.  They should still have parents and teachers and councilors looking out for them.  Where were all of these people?  I know that for the most part as a society we are asleep at the wheel, but sometimes I wonder how much people just choose to ignore things that are obviously wrong.  The stories states that they were recruiting girls from their high schools.  If that is the case, then the students had to know what was going on.  If they knew and they did nothing, then I want to know where their parents are too.  Rumors and information in high school is not always reliable but I would like to think if an administrator caught wind of this, they would at least look into it.  I feel like so many people dropped the ball on this one.  Because it was allowed to happen for over 6 months.

I have said it before and I will say it again.  We need to be teaching our children, boys and girls to love themselves.  To have self respect and foster their self-esteem.  Too many times, I see parents tearing apart the self-esteem of their kids.  This does not help them, it only makes it so situations like this can happen.  I can not feel like any of the girls involved in this felt good about what they were doing from the start.  Someone should have told them that they are worth more than this.

Stories That Need to be Told: Part 3

This is one of my favorite stories about Bear.  It really shows the way that he looks at those he cares about.  When The Mother Hen was born, Bear was a young man.  He really was still a kid in a few ways, but that changed when she was born.  He was the first to hold her at the hospital.  If you ask him, he can still tell you what book he was reading while waiting for her to arrive and what he had for lunch that day.

Bear had heard about Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and was scared.  When they got home from the hospital, he refused to put her down.  He was too afraid that if he put her down, she would get hurt.  For three days, he stayed awake holding her close and watching her to make sure she was okay.   By the third evening, his best friend was starting to worry about him because he knew that Bear had not slept.  So, he came over to their home.  He said “Man, you have got to get some sleep.  You can just put her in a crib on her back and she will be fine.”  Bear refused.  Finally, his friend said, “I will hold her while you sleep for a few hours.”  It took some convincing but he finally slept.  Everyday for the next week, his friend would come over to hold onto The Mother Hen for a few hours so that Bear could nap.  Finally, Bear put her in her crib and watched over her for several nights before he felt safe enough to sleep himself.

The Wicked Step Mom Toolkit

Posted On February 24, 2009

Filed under family, parenting, self, The Tribe

Comments Dropped 5 responses

When we were at the book store the other day, The Tyrant saw a book that was called “Mom’s Totebag.”  It had a bunch of stuff that Mom’s carry with them when they go out with their kids.  The Tyrant said, “This should be called [WickedStepMom]’s Tote Bag.”  It made me giggle until I realized that the kid was right, I do have a bunch of stuff that I lug around for their benefit.  So, here is my Wicked Step Mom ToolKit.  (Leave home without it at your own risk.)

  1. Gum – Gum solves more arguments then anything else.   But, you have to carry two kinds.  A minty kind, that the older ones like and a fruity kind that the younger ones like.  If you give The Tyrant a minty piece of gum, there is a 50-50 chance that you will hear a panicked cry of  “SPICY!!” from the back seat. 
  2. A small notebook and pen – This can be used for drawing pictures, making lists, playing hang man or as a wrapper for the gum listed above.  The last time we were at a restaurant with a ton of people, we ended up playing hangman on the back of out place mats to keep everyone busy while orders for the 15 people we were with were filled. 
  3. Extra hair tie – Not just because we have all girls.  This thing can be used as a rubber band or as a hair accessory.  You can use it to tie down anything that you would use a rubber band for. 
  4. Mints – For upset tummys or coffee breath.  They are multifunctional and can save you from cleaning vomit off of your shoes. 
  5. Chapstick – In the winter, this is especially important.  Someone will have lips that burn, that will bring on the water works if you are not prepared.  Heck, it has saved me from a few hours of discomfort with my own chapped lips.
  6. Post-it Notes – For automatic toilets and can be used for notes and games.  These things are especially precious to me.  They have saved me from accidents and frustration.  Use a Post-it Note to cover the sensor on an automatic toilet and you do not have a frightened kid who refuses to pee.
  7. Juice boxes in the trunk of the car – I always keep a pack in my car.  When I don’t I end up spending $10 on drinks.  So, I keep some in the car at all times.  This way, when you have a thirsty kid, you can snag one out of the car.  This will even save you when you are at the store because you can always promise a treat when you get to the car.  It is a successful bribe to hold over a kid’s head.
  8. Pipe-cleaners – These things can be used for craft projects in the car.  They will keep the Tribe busy for about an hour before they get bored.  The bonus here is that you can usually get some pretty cool bags of them at the dollar store.
  9. A Sense of Humor – This is always needed, even at home. Because when dealing with 5 different people with 5 different personalities, inevitably someone is going to get their feelings hurt.  Pack your sense of humor to make sure it is not you.
  10. Extra bags – Make sure that you get those nice little one that fold into themselves.  They work great for collecting leaves, pine cones and rocks.  They also work well for carrying stuffed animals and books.  If you get them in cool colors, the kids will want to carry them instead of asking you to carry them.  Its a win-win really.

Spoiled

You know, Internet, I love when articles are posted about whether or not your children are spoiled. I have written about this once before.   Don’t get me wrong, I really don’t think the girls are spoiled, but I love analyzing the articles to see how they measure up.  I really wonder if parents out there have no idea if their kids are spoiled.  So, here comes the snark analysis. 

1) They resort to crying or yelling when they want something. – Does screaming “give me back the controller, Buttdart, its my TURN!!!” count?  Because if not, I am going to say, they pass.

2) They throw themselves on floor and won’t get up. – I can’t say that they have ever thrown themselves on the floor on purpose.  I mean, I don’t know if I am starting to rub off on them or what, but my klutziness is starting to get through the house like a bad cold.

3) They constantly throw tantrums or even hit you when you punish them. – Umm.. yeah…  sure.  We don’t have this problem, but if your kid does this and you don’t know that they are a brat..  seek medical attention because you have been hit in the head too many times or you have a brain tumor.  Either way, get help, NOW!

4) They ignore you when you ask a question. – I think all kids ignore their parents to some extent.  “Did you put away your toys? ” is almost always followed by no response while they are dashing to put their toys away.  Also, with today’s constant need for headphones, make sure your kid can actually hear you before you blow your stack.  The Show does this to Bear all the time.  She will have her little ear buds in and he will be talking, she doesn’t even blink… Then he hells, and she pulls out the ear buds and says, “Dad what’s wrong?”  While this is hysterical, it probably doesn’t qualify as bray behavior.

5) They are rude to other adults and even to other children. – Being rude to your siblings is part of life.  So, excluding that, they are very sweet to adults and other children.  You know, when they are sleeping and playing video games. 😉

6) They refuse to share toys or treats with other children. – We are well pass the “MINE!” phase but do not, under any circumstances touch The Tyrant’s honey buns, unless you are bringing her a honey bun.  It is her favorite treat and she takes great offense when her sisters so much as touch the box.  I wouldn’t call this brat behavior either.  But, her sisters know how to push her buttons well, if the need should arrise.

7) They are show-offs and are constantly trying to one-up their peers to be the center of attention. – The Show gets her name because she puts on a show and is usually the center of attention at parties.  However, it is not something she even does on purpose.  She just loves to make people laugh and will happily let someone else take center stage.  She just is a natural at getting attention from a room of people.  It has long been said that she will be a stand up comedian or a lawyer.  So, I am going to give them the pass on this one too.

8) They always want whatever everyone else has. Once they have it, they want something new. – Do dollar store toys count?  They usually last a good few hours before they are broken or in the garbage or in the bottom of the toy box.  But, that is about all I can think of for this one.  They are not materialistic.  They want the stuff they like but that is about it.

9) They keep a messy room and never help out around the house despite your pleas for them to do so. – *clears throat* Well…  okay, this is kind of true.  The Show and The Tyrant share a room.  It is the messiest in the house by far.  It is dangerous to walk in there, even when you don’t have a sore foot. However, if you ask them for help around the house, they hop to it.  So like me at their ages.  I know I am a spoil brat, so I am going to say that they fail on this one, just because they are like me.  The Mother Hen, by the way, refuses to even look in their room and demands that they door remain shut. She is kind of a neat freak and it upsets her to see a messy room.

10) They refuse to go to bed. – Actual bed time conversation on many occasions.. 

Child:  “But, daddy!”

Bear: “Buttdart!”

Child: “I just want to finish watching this show!!”

Bear: “Get to bed, Buttdart.”

Child: Sulking ensues…

So, there you have it..  1 maybe, 2 brat like tendencies.  How do your kids measure up to the brat behavior list?

Laughter is the Best Medicine

(Spin Cycle: Laughter)

Bear and I have always tried to teach the girls that laughing about a situation is better than crying about it.  This will spur him to do the “I’m cold butt wiggle” and try to make us laugh whenever we are hurt.  The other day, I was at the poditrist office again, with The Mother Hen.  I have an injury to my trapezius metatarsal (number 1 in the picture) on my right foot and it is extremely painful.  For now, my doctor is trying to heal it without going the cast and surgery route.

As we are sitting there and I am pouting because I am not going to be able to golf in the Spring, The Mother Hen was trying to cheer me up.  So, she started talking about her penguin reusable hand warmer, his name is Bob the Rockstar.  He is about the size of my hand and has stubby, cute little arms.  “Don’t be sad, [WickedStepMom]!  Just think of Bob the Rockstar doing the cabbage patch!” she said with a grin.  I giggled with her. 

When the doctor came back in, he announced he would once again be giving me a cortisone shot in my foot.  Last time, this hurt a lot and I was pretty sure it would this time too.  So, as I am laying back and he is putting the needle in my foot, The Mother Hen stands up over me and says, “I know it hurts, but think of Bob the Rockstar doing the Thriller dance.”  I started to laugh and she did too.  The doctor probably thinks we are crazy but I was laughing the whole time he was digging around in my foot to find the right spot to put the cortisone. 

When we got home, I was pretty tender because the local anastetic was wearing off. So, she was having Bob the Rockstar do various dances any time I made a face and grabbed my foot.  We spent the rest of the night planning how we are going to make Bob the next bit YouTube hit!

Stories That Need to Be Told: Part 2

Bear and I have been worrying about The Show lately.  She is in the ‘tween age years and facing a number of ‘tween aged challenges.  She has always been a very independent and free thinking girl but as she is getting older she is starting to let others make decisions for her.  So, I have two stories about her that will hopefully help her remember not only who she is but how much she is loved.

*****

When The Show was born, Bear worked the swing shift for the Airforce in North Carolina.  Because they had The Mother Hen at the time and Bear couldn’t take care of the new born Show, his mother flew in from Michigan to help out.  This story was told to me by her recently.  She would keep The Show’s crib in her room with her so that she could get up with her when she cried.  But, every day at nap time, Bear would wake up to come and get her so that she could sleep on his chest.  He would sleep on the couch and The Show would tuck her little feet into his waist band and curl her little fists into his chest hair.  The two of them would sleep this way until it was time for Bear to get up and go to work.  His mother told me that the first few times he had to go to work were the hardest.  The Show would cry and so would Bear when it came time for him to leave.  She would have to spend about 20 minutes cooing to The Show, “Don’t worry pretty girl, Daddy’s coming home soon.”

*****

A few summer’s ago, The Show was afraid of heights.  She still is to a point but she is much better now.  We were all at a lighthouse near Lake Superior.  The first think I did, was run to the top of the lighthouse.  I didn’t realize that I was the only one.  I looked down from the top and The Show and Bear were in a deep conversation.  So, I came back down.  It turns out The Show wanted to see the top, but she was too scared.  So, I told her to come with me.  It was slow going and the close we go to the top, the more she began to shake.  We were almost to the top when she announced that she thought she was going to throw up.  I told her that she could go back down if she wanted to.  She looked at me and said, ” No, I need to do this.” She continued to climb.  When we reached the top, I made her stop and take a photo.  Its a little blurry because her hands were shaking but, this is the view she had.shows-view

 

 

 

The Show,

May you always have as much courage as you had on this day.  And may you always remember how much people love you.

Love,

WickedStepMom

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Sleep is good?

Posted On February 17, 2009

Filed under Bear, Random Tuesday Thoughts

Comments Dropped 7 responses

For more Random Tuesday Thoughts check out The UnMom.

For the past few nights, Bear has had a hard time sleeping.  Last night he slept really well.  He was on the charger way too long though because he was all fired up this morning.

Because of my continuing foot injury, I have been sleeping with a pillow under my leg to prop it up.  I can think of few things in the world that are more uncomfortable than this.

Because of some scheduling changes, we have all being going to bed around 9pm and getting up at 5am.  If I am really lucky, in a few weeks I will be able to sleep until 5:30!  WOOHOO!

My new Domo Kun  (Bear got him for me on Valentine’s Day.  This is true dork love!) action figure (girls have dolls, boys have action figures…  I am somewhere in between) fell over on my desk.  He looks like he is sleeping.  I am jealous of a stuffed toy…

Peanuts Are the DEVIL!

Posted On February 16, 2009

Filed under rant, soap box

Comments Dropped 4 responses

Okay, here comes my soap box and rant.  All small children should leave the room immediately.  If you have a heart condition stop reading now!!  I have been reading the news again lately.  I know I keep promising myself to stop but its like a train wreck and I am addicted.  I can’t help but make CNN my home page.  It is shameless self-torture but it must be done.

Peanuts have gotten such a bad wrap lately.  The have been recalled due to salmonella and now they are being protested on Northwest Airlines.  Why are they being protested, you say?  Because people have allergies!  I understand that some people are so allergic to things that even if they are in the air it could kill you.  I mean, check out my allergy page.  But, come on!  You don’t see me denying the rest of the world pepperoni and hamburgers!  I don’t get fellow beef allergy suffers together and hold protests at McDonald’s every weekend.  Even though, they are bastard for making their fries so damn delicious while adding beef to them!

I have been know to go into analytic shock from someone walking by with the wrong perfume.  You don’t see me accosting said person with personal protection orders and lawsuits baning the use of their poisonous to me perfumes.  I don’t demand that it be a sulfate free zone wherever I go.  Even though that would make my life a bit easier.   So, why do these people feel that it is okay to protest peanuts?  And file laws suits?  And scream from the roof tops?  Maybe because they are a majority.  I mean, only about 0.01% of the population is allergic to sulfates.  So, we would have  a small group of people to protest against THE MAN.  But, really, I think it is silly to prevent others from eating things that they enjoy because you happen to be allergic.  Not everyone with a peanut allergy will spontaneously combust if peanuts are in the air.  But, everyone that gets a rash from eating peanuts feels it okay to scream “Are you trying to kill me?  Peanuts are the DEVIL!”

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