A board meeting

Since becoming the Tribe, there are many occasions that Bear feels out numbered.  It is not just because we are all girls and he is the lone male.  But, for many reasons, including one that happened over the weekend.

Bear was searching for a house on Google Maps to see the street view because its a bank owned and we wanted to see what it looked like, without all the snow.  After a bit of searching and clicking he showed me the picture.  So, he shows me the picture.  The first thing I notice is the huge driveway (mostly because it was buried under the snow when we drove by).

Me:  That is a big frickin’ driveway…

Bear: That is all you have to say about it?!?!  (He does what I call the man-pout, arms crossed looking sullen and takes the laptop into the other room.)

The Mother Hen: That is a big driveway!

Bear: I hate you guys!!

On some level, I think he is convinced that we have meetings on ways to torture him. Like we plan things out so that we get the full effect by the end of the day.  If we did have meetings, I think it would go something like this:

The Tyrant: I hear by call this meeting of the Torture Daddy Society to order!!  (She is the shortest, and therefore in charge, but I am moving my way up in the ranks!  One day, I will be the shortest and have all the power!)

The Mother Hen, The Show and I take our seats.  The Show turns on the projector and loads up The Tyrant’s slides for her.  The Tyrant taps her foot impatiently and readies her laser pointer.  As the slides load,

The Tyrant: Now then…  I expect a full Daddy meltdown by 3pm today.  We have been slacking off lately and I feel like we have not kept him on his toes nearly enough.

The Mother Hen:  Well, I have been trying, but I just feel soo mean sometimes.

The Tyrant: I don’t care!!  This is about results people! Not feelings!

The Show: I guess I could work a little harder.  I mean, my sighs of disgust just haven’t been all that sincere lately.

The Tyrant:  Much much better..  what about you, WickedStepMom?  What is your excuse for lack of results?!

Me: Well, I have been a little busy lately…

The Tyrant: If you guys keep this up, I will have to bring in the mercenaries!  All of you will lose your jobs!  How would you like that?!?

All three of us: NO!  We will do better!

The Tyrant:  Wonderful….  now then, The Mother Hen you need to come down with a really nasty cold.  The Show you need to work on your disgusted sighs and make them even louder when he says we aren’t going to the mall.  WickedStepMom bug him about something whenever he looks busy.  Wait until he is busy though, don’t bug him when he is just watching TV.  Wait until the power tools come out, for goodness sakes!  As for me, I will bat clean up.  We will reconvene for a status meeting at 1500 hours.  If he is not ready to blow by then, I will refuse to eat dinner and then cry about no dessert.  Everyone understand there mission?  Good.

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4 Responses to “A board meeting”

  1. Sprite's Keeper

    Wow, is that what I should be doing with Sprite when working on ways to piss John off? I always thought divide and conquer was the way to go. Thanks for the new perspective!

  2. Keely

    lol! The only one I have on my side these days is the dog. And she’s no help whatsoever.

  3. Tricia

    Good god, I really need some girls in my house!!

  4. Casey

    Hahah, I was pretty sure these types of meetings took place with my kids behind closed doors but I wasn’t sure until I read the proof here. Brilliant! You guys sound like you have a lot of fun around there.

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