Survival

Posted On March 11, 2009

Filed under self, The Spin Cycle

Comments Dropped 12 responses

Survival is a hard word for me.  I spent a lot of time just trying to survive.  I spent too many years trying to just get by.  I got married too young to a man that wanted to control me.  I developed asthma and life threatening allergies.  I lived through hell and made it out alive.

Survival to me means a lot of things:

  • Ducking into the house after a long day at work and sneaking into the bathroom so that my presence won’t be noticed
  • Doing what my ex-husband wanted to do, so I wouldn’t have to deal with the argument.
  • Not spending time with my family and friends, so that my ex-husband wouldn’t get jealous and angry.
  • Hiding in my bedroom closet as a kid, when the world got to be too much.
  • Crying every morning in the shower because my hair was falling out and not telling anyone about it. (I was allergic to the shampoo I was using.)
  • Learning to take even more medicine every morning because they still can’t decide what is wrong with you.
  • Not sleeping enough but faking it with caffeine.

Survival is a lot more than just a word to me, it was a life stye for a very long time.  When I left my ex, I decided, I was done surviving and that it was time to start living.  I have been trying to truly live, every moment since that day.  I don’t hide myself in baggy clothes and I spend as much time as I can with friends and family because I want to.  I have adapted (for the most part) to my allergies and asthma.  I have learned to share how I am really feeling.  But most of all, I learned that I am worth fighting for.

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12 Responses to “Survival”

  1. Casey

    This story sounds way too familiar. I’m glad you got away and I’m glad you’re living your life. It’s great to get out and find out that happiness is actually possible.

  2. Sprite's Keeper

    So glad you found your way out of that life and took control of your life. That is the true meaning of survival. Great Spin! You’re linked!

  3. Smart Mouth Broad

    Those are some survival skills. I’m so glad you’re happy now with your family.

  4. Camille

    You’re right—-sometimes we deserve more than merely survival. Thanks for the good post!

  5. Nothing Fancy

    Good for you! I’m so glad that you are happy now and living YOUR life!

  6. HeatherPride

    You ARE worth it!! So glad you worked it out. {HUGS}

  7. SmileyGirl

    I would have never known this based upon your writing. You appear to be a very vivacious, energetic and loving stepmom and I so enjoy your transcriptions of life and it’s challenges. Glad to hear that you were able to escape a situation that some cannot and live such a full life from there. You are a very inspirational writer.

  8. Jenny

    Good for you, WSM! You inspire me all the time to be a better stepmom. And today you inspired me to start living.

  9. Keely

    Very powerful post. Everyone deserves more than the bare minimum survival.

    PS – But you aren’t disappointed IN me, are ya?? 😉

  10. Laufa

    So glad you learned to fight for you and that you matter!! Great spin!

  11. Shangrila

    I am really glad that you have come to a place where you recognize your self-worth! Why is that so hard for so many of us? I don’t know, but I’m glad you survived!

  12. movin' down the road

    we are always surviving something, I say…

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