My big mouth
I have a big mouth, and I tend to use it a bit too often. Last night, was just such an occasion. While I think I was in the right, I am not sure how I am going to handle the situation in the future. Here is what happened…
The Mother Hen has been slacking on her chores lately. It really came to a head last night because she argued about doing the dishes and picking up her mess. The thing about it is, she has always been the neat freak. She has always been the one that picked up and took care of her portion without being asked. This has changed a bit recently, and honestly, I have no idea why.
Bear and her started arguing. And, of course, because I had been feeling taken advantage of too, I had to open my big mouth. I told her, “I don’t think we would even be nearly as upset about this, if we didn’t just have this argument and you hadn’t been slacking off for weeks.” This is where I screwed up. Well, maybe, I am not sure yet. But, the thing is that I am usually the negotiator and I didn’t negotiate. I told her she screwed up. She was really mad at me. She felt betrayed and hurt. And she felt like we were ganging up on her. I didn’t say it to cause all of that. I just wanted her to know where we were coming from. I felt like hell because I knew that I was telling her the truth but I caused a lot more than I meant to.
We always tell the truth. Some people think it is a flaw to be too honest. But, Bear and I are honest, always. We may warn people that our thoughts and opinions will hurt their feelings, but we are honest. Maybe that is where I messed up. Maybe, I should have told her that what I was going to say would probably hurt her. I just didn’t realize at the time that it would.
It’s really hard being a stepmomsometimes. Because, while Bear has never and will never treat me like, “Well, you’re just the stepmom so keep your mouth shut, their my kids.” I still get a lot of resentment from them when I agree with Bear about theirmess up. I don’t know if non-stepmom’s go through this too. Because I have never been a non-stepmom. But, I do know a lot of stepmom’s who do deal with this. Its a fine line to walk. And being the negotiator is harder than it sounds. Bear wants to be the “bad-guy” so that they are not mad at me and so he can protect me. I don’t think that it will work that way all of the time. Actually, most of the time it doesn’t. The girls have been angry with me for defending them when he is in the wrong. I think it is a matter of being a safe target. And, I am okay with that. I am okay if they are mad at me. I was just really taken off guard that she got so angry because I told her that she was wrong. I am going to have to figure out the best way to deal with something like this in the future. For now, I am just glad that she got over being angry with me.
Stop by tomorrow for some Beautiful Like Me topic inspiration. I am going to be pulling together a few articles and quotes that deal with our topic, “What do today’s children and teens feel pressured to imitate? Why?” Don’t forgot, this topic goes live on Monday! Anyone interested in joining us, please live a comment on my site, Tricia’s or Amy’s. I tried using Mr. Linky, but Mr. Linky has no love for me. So, just leave a comment and we will compose a master list!