Was it a Mistake?

Posted On April 30, 2009

Filed under life, self, The Spin Cycle

Comments Dropped 8 responses

While it is not something that I think about often, for some reason, it has been on my mind a lot lately.  I have been thinking about my relationship with my ex-husband.  The relationship started when I was 17 and I think that it is on my mind because The Mother Hen is dating.  And she is just about the age I was when I started dating him.  She seems as head over heels as I was.  So, I worry for her.

The whole situation started slowly.  I think if it would have been as bad as it was in the end, as it was in the beginning, I would have never let things go far.  In the beginning, we got together with a group of friends every week.  They were mostly my friends but he brought his best friend along too.  As time went on, it started being less and less of my friends and more of his.  Finally, it ended up being only his friends.  He started isolating me from my family too.  In part, I think because I trusted him too much and in part because I wanted to believe he loved me.  I found out too late that he didn’t.

But was it a mistake?  I think it would be a mistake if I stayed.  It will be a mistake if I do nothing if I see that it is happening to someone else.  I don’t think it was a mistake though.  I doubt I would have the strength that I have today if I hadn’t lived through it.  I don’t think that I would be who I am.  I don’t think I would have even started writing again.  I don’t think that I could appreciate Bear as much as I do.  But most importantly, I don’t think I would appreciate myself as much.

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8 Responses to “Was it a Mistake?”

  1. Lori

    As someone that has some of these kinds of mistakes in my past I can relate to how you feel. I do believe that you are the woman you are today because of the mistakes. You allowed these mistakes to make you better and not bitter. Mistakes are a playground for learning. It sounds like, from the posts you write, you have come a long way in learning many things…your mistakes have made you wise and that is something to be proud of. I am sorry that you endured that pain in your life but I am happy that you are where you are.

  2. Casey

    Great spin. I started with my first ahole ex when I was fifteen and he pulled that same crap. I hope Elliot doesn’t fall into the same pattern.

  3. Sprite's Keeper

    I never understood why some people have to go through absolute hell to reach happiness. I am so happy for you since you’ve come so far from a situation which was hurting you so much. You are an absolute inspiration to other people that we all have strength within us. We just need to use it to make a change. You’re amazing. You’re linked too!

  4. Tricia

    I think once we can look back at our pasts and embrace them the way you are…the road to helping us achieve whoever we are today…and appreciate yourself and like yourself…than it’s a road well traveled. I’m quite sure you’re sharing your experiences and lessons learned with your daughter, and that’s a wonderful gift.

  5. Tricia

    Psssttt…something at my place for you.

  6. Out-Numbered

    Really honest writing style you have. first time here and I’m digging it. I see you comment on DGM all the time and thought I’d swing by. Keep up the good work. Don’t hesitate to share your wisdom with people who might benefit. As long as it comes from the heart, it’s the right thing to do. Rock on.

  7. Amy @ Five Flower Mom

    My daughter is nearing the age I was when I started dating my husband (her dad) and that scares the heck out of me because although it has all worked out — she is just too young!!!

  8. Amanda

    I stopped by from Miller Memories to check out the Beautiful Like Me project, and this post really struck me. This is very very similar to my life, and I can completely sympathize with your worries for Mother Hen.

    Oh, I have had exes on the brain lately (both mine and his)!

    Thank you for the post!

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