Step Mom Fail #286

The number 286 is completely made up, because I am quite sure that the number is much larger than that.  But, I am still learning so, I will give myself a small break. 

The other day, The Tyrant was in rare form.  She was picking fights, arguing over every little thing and lamenting about how unfair the world is.  When she does this, we usually square off in a battle of wills.  I assumed that she was just being extra willful that day as she does from time to time.  As the day progressed, instead of her getting better, she got worse.  Usually, we will have a epic smack down for about two hours and then she is back to herself.  I really should have had a clue that something was really wrong, but I didn’t.

Towards the end of the day, I want to pick her up and hug her fiercely while screaming “What’s wrong?!?!”  Because she just kept finding things to fight about.  Normally, when this goes on, I can take a step back and try to sit and talk with her.  It takes a lot of will power, because I am usually frustrated but, I can sit and talk.  Maybe I was tired, or maybe I thought she was just trying to get away with something, because it never occured to me. 

We battled all day long.  Bear faught with her as much as I did.  (Probably a little more, truth be told.)  At the end of the day, I threw my hands into the air and gave up.  I looked at her and said, “If you want to be mean, be mean.”  She started crying, hard.  (See, I am a wicked step mom…)  I sighed and said, “What’s wrong?”  She replied, “I am not telling you, because you think I am mean.”  Eventually she told Bear in a fit of tears what had been bothering her. 

I can’t help but feel like I failed her.  I should have been more perceptive, or more patient.  I guess hind-sight really is 20-20.  The only thing I can do, is try to be better next time.  (Wish me luck, okay?)

8 Responses to “Step Mom Fail #286”

  1. Stefanie

    Oh my lord that sounds trying. I was a willful kid so I kind of understand both sides but I think maybe taking a step back is a great idea. Kids are freaking hard no matter what the age!! You’re doing a great job!

  2. Sammanthia

    Honey, it happens. Carter is the same way but the exact same thing has happened to me, and I know where you’re coming from. Sometimes it’s hard to know if a meltdown is just that or something more. We always work it out in the end but it’s forever until I don’t feel guilty about it. I’ll let you know when I get there.

  3. Maureen at IslandRoar

    Hey, have just recently stumbled onto your blog and really enjoy it. Some days are just like that, no matter what you say or do.

  4. Jenny

    WSM, I know exactly what you are dealing with. I have those days with my two (step)daughters. In the end, all I can do is say, “I’m sorry.”

  5. Sprite's Keeper

    Honey, I’ve given up on Sprite’s “Guess what I’m ranting about” game mere minutes in. If you lasted almost an entire day, I’d deem you a success! 😉

  6. Kathi

    crikey, man!! is this the first time this has happened? if so, consider yourself lucky.. [hehe] OH-and be glad she isnt a redhead, too! ;>S
    stop beating yourself up man!! sometimes when they have problems, they dont really know how to put into words what’s goin on in thier melons, so they act like a.. well.. a TYRANT-

    when our kid used to do this, we would try to sit still and help him figure out what was Really bothering him-and then we could discuss a solution to the problem, but sometimes a good cry [meltdown] seems to purge the system and make things clearer.. poor kid-poor step-mom-and poor dad, too..
    These are Teachable moments for us ALL.. kids NEED to know that adults have bad days, too, ya know??

    i just reminded myself [after a particularly trying day or week] that ‘This too shall pass’ and someday they’ll move out and be gone-and i’ll miss the HELL out of em.. NOW I get to throw tantrums when HE comes home-LOL!! ya know what they cay about ‘paybacks’.. heeheehee!
    you’re doin GREAT wicked one!! as long as you TRY-it is perfectly evident you LUV those kids to death, so STOP second guessing yourself.. ease up on your self ok?? always remember that all-important word-**Intent*.. your Intent was Good.. cant go wrong there.. how can such a little person have such a HUGE heart?? keep goin, man!! it’ll ALL ‘come out in the wash’..

  7. Casey

    Aww, that’s not a parenting fail. I have the battle of the wills going on over here 24/7 and I’ve had a hard time keeping my cool lately. It sounds like you guys are very patient though and you eventually got to the bottom of things.

  8. Lisa

    Stepmother fail…yeah. I feel you. Just when I think I am doing all right as a step parent, I get a big fat F that takes a bit to repair. Humor is what all stepmothers need.

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