Random Tuesday Thoughts: G’Home Gnome

Its Tuesday.  It’s not So Random. It’s time for me to get some new jokes. Go see Keely…  she is a comedic genius, and I am just a student.

* The Gnome that has moved into my sinuses has gotten very comfy in there.   He just won’t leave.  Maybe the ENT doc will find a way to get him out.  If not, I think it will turn into nuclear warfare… and that just won’t be good for society as a whole.  I mean, who wants nuclear winter over my sinuses?…  Yeah, I didn’t think that you did.  So, you’re welcome.  But if this goes on too much longer, it is on, Mr. Gnome!

* Bear e-mailed me this morning.  This is what he wrote:

[Bear’s REALLY Annoying Co-Worker]~ said I was too “chipper” this morning and suggested that “If I didn’t know better, you got lucky!”  I said luck had nothing to do with it…killing two homeless people with one shot is SKILL. 
He didn’t laugh. 

~Name changed to be more appropriate this his given name.

* Bear, like my mother, has a very defined set of taste buds.  He does not like to deviate from the normal.  (And he wonders why I can’t get The Tyrant to eat another other than tacos…)  I told him that I was going to take The Mother Hen out for some mediterranean food.

Bear: You hate peas!

WickedStepMom: Chickpeas are different!

Bear: Chickpeas are just peas that stay home and watch chick flicks with Hugh Grant in them.

WickedStepMom: They taste different…

Bear: Chickpeas are just peas that “WANT TO BE HELD!”

(Can you see why I love him?  He is seriously awesome and can always make me laugh.)

* The Mother Hen has a new boyfriend.  He is an okay guy.  The Show and The Tyrant like him, which is saying a lot.  But, I just can’t seem to let my guard down.  I think it is because I have seen boys make The Mother Hen cry.  Stupid, stinky boys…

*The Tyrant looked at me this weekend, with daggers in her eyes.  I wouldn’t let her have a new toy at the store (partly because I had already bought her stuff and partly because there has to be something under the tree).  She stomped her foot and said, “Mommy is nicer than you.”  I grinned, “She is also taller.”  She just blinked at me.

* The Show is really excited about cheerleading.  In order to make the varsity team, she needs to learn to do a back walk over.  I have no idea how to do this, so I suggested she look up how to do it on YouTube.  This was a bad, bad suggestion…

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8 Responses to “Random Tuesday Thoughts: G’Home Gnome”

  1. Julie@Momspective

    THAT IS EFFIN HILARIOUS. I just read that out loud to my friends and I’m sending this to my sister lol.

  2. Mama Badger

    Oh, I’m so looking up back walkover on utube when I get home.

    And your husband? Hysterical about the chick peas. You’re right, though. Not the same at all.

  3. angie

    hope you get to feeling better we have been having some of the same problems here

  4. Sprite's Keeper

    Back walk overs are difficult, but depending on Youtube to learn can only end in “ouch”.

  5. Maureen@IslandRoar

    Back walkover, yikes!
    And your response to the Tyrant? Priceless!
    Good Luck with the sinuses; I just found out I need septoplasty for my chronic sinus troubles.

  6. stepmumoftheyear

    Love the chickpeas comment!

  7. Niky @ Design It Chic

    So i finally find out what a chickpea is:):):) boy this is so funny:):):)
    Happy Tuesday and if you have time, here’s my Randomness!!!

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