Random Tuesday Thoughts: Pity Party

 

If you don’t know the drill by now, go see Keely…  she is less grumpy than me today.

* I have to wait a month and a half for my nose to get fixed…  This wouldn’t be so bad, if it didn’t fall right in the middle of golf season!  I mean, seriously, this has been going on 8 months and now, they decide they are going to fix it, DURING GOLF SEASON!

* First we had a 24 hour stomach bug running through the house and now we have a head cold trying to take over.  Tea, chicken noodle soup and juice for us!

* I ordered some granola bars from a private seller on Amazon.  They shipped it secure mail through FedEx and wouldn’t let anyone sign for it, but me.  “For security reason.”  So, they got sent back to the seller.  Apparently, Homeland Security and FedEx are really concerned about what will happen if the granola bars end up in the wrong hands. 

*Quote of the week once again goes to the Tyrant:  “What is wrong with you guys?  YOU CAN’T SHIP DONUTS!!”

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Pride

The Show: “You owe me a penny!  You bet me that there is no Sweet Home Alabama in this song.”

The Mother Hen: “No, I said that this song is not named Sweet Home Alabama.”

The Show: “You did not! You owe me a penny!”

The Tyrant: “Look, I will give you both a penny if you be quiet.”

Only in our house…

The Mother Hen: [WickedStepMom] you have to decorate cookies with us.  You can’t leave that plate sitting over there with a bunch of naked cookies!

WickedStepMom: I made the cookies for your guys to decorate…

The Show: Yeah, but now, there are four plates, and we can’t have a plate of nudist cookies.  It’s just not right!  My entire holiday will be ruined because you have left the cookies naked!

The Tyrant:  Yeah, I mean, you will get our cookies arrested and they will have to spend the night in cookie jail.  I don’t want to eat jail-bird cookies!

Nudist Cookies

Nudist Cookies

The Tyrant than hurried to get the cookies dressed…

Dressed Cookies

Kittens

The Tyrant: “Meow.”

The Mother Hen: “Stop it.”

The Tyrant: “Meow.”

The Mother Hen: “Stop it!”

The Show: “Stop!”

The Tyrant: “Meow.”

The Mother Hen: “You know, if you are kitty we will have to get rid of you.  [WickedStepMom] is allergic to cats.”

The Tyrant: “Shows what you know!  I am a robot kitty!  Meow.”

The Show and The Mother Hen: [eye roll]

The Tyrant: “Meow.”

The Mother Hen: “Stop it.”

The Tyrant: “Meow.”

The Mother Hen: “Stop it!”

The Show: “Stop!”

The Tyrant: “Meow….”

The Mother Hen: “Dad, make her stop!  She is giving me a migraine!!”

The Tyrant: “Meow…”

The Mother Hen: “DADDDDD!!!!!”

The Tyrant: “Meow.”

***

Bear wanted me to share this little tibit  with you…   in our home no one EVER gets those pedestrian “headaches”, we graduate straight to the level of “migraine.”

Random Tuesday Thoughts: We have a winner!

It’s Tuesday…  Things have been way too exciting around here.  Go see Keely for less craziness and no dental horror stories.

* I got a text on Sunday from my mom.  My brother is in the hospital.  ICU to be exact.  He has his wisdom teeth extracted about 4 days ago and now has a massive infection that was causing his airway to be closed off.  The intubated him and sent him for emergency surgery to put some drainage tubes into his mouth and neck.  When I went to see him yesterday, I told him that if he wanted to beat Bear at anything, he should have challenged him to ping-pong…

* The Tyrant won the funniest costume contest at a party over the weekend.  She was “Double Trouble”, half angel and half devil.  She didn’t understand why the adults thought it was funny.  I told her that I would remind her of this when she is a mom and then she would understand. 

* Speaking of The Tyrant…  She fell on Halloween.  Hard.  Really Hard.  And scraped knees up really badly.  She wanted to keep Trick-or-Treating.  So, we did.  She was bleeding and she thought it would make her costume look better.  Later, her tights got stuck to her leg because the blood had dried.  Bear and I soaked her leg but ended up having to pull a little bit off.  I asked him to hold her still and I pulled.  She screamed “Ow!!  You jerks!  You could have warned me!” 

* Bear, my Mom and I all helped the girls with their costumes.  Mom teased hair and put leaves in to make the two zombies look like they had crawled out of the ground.  I did make up to make them look dead.  Bear took care of Double Trouble’s make up.  My Dad laughed and took pictures!

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Fantasy Basketball?!?

Posted On October 13, 2009

Filed under Bear, funny quotes, life, self

Comments Dropped 9 responses

If you don’t know the drill by now, go see Keely so she can beat you into submission.  Then, she can thank you for providing some stress relief.

* I was whined at bullied into asked kindly by my co-workers to play fantasy basketball with them.  I have no idea what I am doing as far as basketball goes.  It actually kind of makes me feel like a girly girl because all I know about the sport is you put a ball in a hoop…

* The Honeymoon is definitely over for Bear and I.  The very first time he cleaned the house, part of me panicked and thought “What the hell did he do to my house?!?!”  In my previous relationships, a guy would never clean the house unless he was hiding something or wanted something.  You know what Bear wanted that day?  A clean house and to give me a break.  Now, when he cleans, I don’t panic but I do say thank you.  He then shrugs and says, “umm.. it’s no big deal.”  Does he have no idea how much of a big deal it is?! 

* Funny Quote of the Week:

“Hehehe…  Daddy’s a girl in this game…”

* Bear has more pieces of bone coming out of his mouth.  I want to ninja into his dentist’s office and put tacks on his dentist’s chair and write “redrum” on her desk.  Then start a hate mail campaign…  Nevermind, I just want to kick her butt!

* My phone started doing this lovely thing over the weekend.  It’s a touch screen and when I touched a letter, the letter above it would get typed.  So, instead of grab some milk please. Bear was getting messages like this: t4qg w0k3 k9po, -p4qw4.  The best part was that I could not recalerbrate it.  My new phone came yesterday, I can text again.  Withdraws have stopped. 🙂

Time to unplug

When packing up lunches to go to the beach for a picnic, I asked the girls what they wanted me to pack.  The Mother Hen and The Show decided on turkey sandwiches. 

The Tyrant hands me a package of Cup O’ Noodles.  (In case you have never been a single person in your entire life…  here is a visual reference.)

 

WickedStepMom: Honey, we are going to the beach, I have no way to cook ramen noodles.

The Tyrant: But it only needs a microwave!!

I think it may be time to unplug a bit and step back from technology…

Random Tuesday Thoughts: My feet need their own holiday

Its that time again.  Its Tuesday and you are sitting in front of your computer wondering what kind of craziness I will come up with this week, aren’t you?  I am feeling not so crazy this week.  Go see Keely, she may have some craziness for you.  Or she can atleast point you in the right direction.

*I may have mentioned at one time or anotherthat I broke my right foot.  The doctor released me, even though my foot is still technically broken.  It rarely hurts now and is healing well.  The injury can take up to 2 years to fully heal.  Earlier this week, I kicked a chair with my right foot.  I hit it hard.  Bear was in the same room and saw me go down.  He came running over and asked if I was okay.  I told him no.  So he looked at my foot and had me lean back, he grabbed my toe, which apparently was sticking out at a funky angle and pulled it straight up.  I saw stars.  I over heard him describing this to someone else.  He said it sounded like a number 2 pencil being snapped in half.  Needless to say, my toe was broken.  So, now I have a broken pinky toe and broken metatarsals on the same damn foot.  Walking is so much fun!!

*Bear had to have his wisdom tooth removed because he chipped it.  Infection was setting in.  He now has dry socket and hates all things dental.  I can’t say that I blame him.  He has been on the starvation liquid diet for over a week now.  While he is losing weight, which can be a good thing, he is way too tired and grumpy.  I will take a jolly fat guy over and grumpy skinny guy any day of the week.

*The Tyrant has taken to hiding in her closet when she is angry with someone.  I don’t think that she has figured out that this makes her sisters happy since they don’t have to listen to her yell. 

*The Mother Hen has been telling me that I will get no hugs whenever she is pretending to me mad at me.  So, if we are playing around and I tease her, she will say, “Fine, no hugs for you!”  The Show over heard it and looked at her very seriously and said, “Wow!  That is mean! Jerk..”

*Funny quote of the week “I am Wrothgar!  FEAR ME!”

Random Tuesday Thoughts: RTFM

It’s Tuesday again.  And I can tell you honestly, that I am feeling like it is Monday.  Which probably isn’t very good.  Since it is, in fact, Tuesday.  I hope I don’t wonder around all day being this confused.  For some Tuesdayness, go see Keely

* I am convinced that the children came with a manual.  Bear must have left it at the hospital or something…  If we can have 300 page manuals on a cell phone, there should definitely be a manual for children.  Something that covers from age 0 to 21. 

* The ragweed invasion has began.  Please bar your doors and windows.  This is not a test..  This is a full scale alert….  that is all.

* I decided to make banana bread from a mix over the weekend.  It was okay, but it was not as good as the home made.  Lesson learned, sometimes shortcuts are not as good as they sound.

*Funny quote of the week is brought to you by The Tyrant:

“You stole my seat just to make me cry.”

*Back to school has been more stressful this year than years past.  The “Fort Knox” high school that we are sending The Mother Hen too has asked us for about 30 appointments and a DNA sample so that she can attend.  They may be looking to create a new master race out of teenagers.  It makes me more than a little nervous that we chose to send her there.

*At one point or another, The Show commented that her on-line character for a MMORPG was being a park hobo.  So, we some times tease her about growing up to be a professional hobo.  I think we should stop teasing her though, because apparently, there is money in it.  If I ever quit my job, I think that is what I will be.  After all, there is no instruction manual required.

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Invasion of the Gnome Ninjas

 

 

Gather ’round boys and girls, its time again for Random Tuesday Thoughts.  Grab a button, and put on some protective padding.  Then go see Keely for more randomness and ninjas.  Trust me, there are there in her post.  They are just using their ninja stealth to hide from the untrained eye…

*Moving has been extremely chaotic.  But, I actually feel like we are finally settling even put some shelves up for me so I could display my various knick-knacks.  He thrives in order, I thrive in chaos…  Its like oil and water.  Only, way more interesting.

* It hs been my habit to post the funny random quote of the week on Tuesdays.  I would hate to disappoint you, so here it is:

“Cheese is so going to kick Jambalaya’s butt!!”

*Lately, the coffee maker timer has been randomly resetting itself to a different time.  Since the coffee maker has never done this before, I have been hunting everywhere to figure out why.  I checked the outlets to make sure that we hadn’t tripped a fuse there.  I checked the breakers to make sure everything was installed correctly.  Everything appears to be fine, but despite this, the coffee maker keeps resetting it’s time.  I chalked it up to Gnome Ninjas sneaking into the kitchen to sabotage my caffeine intake.  This is probably the first clue that I need to lay off the caffeine…  (P.S. Solved the mystery this morning.  The Mother Hen has been unplugging the coffee maker to use the toaster…  The Gnomes made a much better story…)

 *Last summer when we were visiting Bear’s parents, Papa (Bear’s Dad) and The Tyrant went hunting for blueberries.  They were unsuccessful, so Papa got a store bought bag out of the freezer.  He put them in the microwave to defrost them.  Now, The Tyrant won’t eat blueberries unless they are warmed up.  Thanks Papa!!  Guess who has to warm up the blueberries?

*I am a healthy eater by necessity.  The rest of the house is starting to eat healthier now that I am around all the time.  I feel like I am slowing taking over, one meal at a time…

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