Random Tuesday Thoughts: Pity Party


If you don’t know the drill by now, go see Keely…  she is less grumpy than me today.

* I have to wait a month and a half for my nose to get fixed…  This wouldn’t be so bad, if it didn’t fall right in the middle of golf season!  I mean, seriously, this has been going on 8 months and now, they decide they are going to fix it, DURING GOLF SEASON!

* First we had a 24 hour stomach bug running through the house and now we have a head cold trying to take over.  Tea, chicken noodle soup and juice for us!

* I ordered some granola bars from a private seller on Amazon.  They shipped it secure mail through FedEx and wouldn’t let anyone sign for it, but me.  “For security reason.”  So, they got sent back to the seller.  Apparently, Homeland Security and FedEx are really concerned about what will happen if the granola bars end up in the wrong hands. 

*Quote of the week once again goes to the Tyrant:  “What is wrong with you guys?  YOU CAN’T SHIP DONUTS!!”

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Bandits, Gnomes and other things that go bump in the night

It’s Tuesday again.  And I am finally feeling a little like myself again.  So, stick around and read some randomness, then head over to see Keely.  She will appreciate you.

* Hot dogs are apparently out to get us.  They can kill teenagers if you aren’t careful.  I say we ban them from the planet and feel them to our enemies!

* The Gnome in my sinuses if finally getting his eviction notice.  But, you know how the court systems work, they still have to give him time to appeal and get an attorney.  Personally, I hope the little jerk is broke!

* I found that one thing that all three of the kids will eat.  Tortillas.  I called them my little tortilla bandits.   Bear admonished me for complaining that they ate something.

* The other night, we heard someone in the house while we were in bed.  Bear listen for a few minutes and the noise stopped.  He went down stairs, to investigate.  No one was there.  We have been invaded by ninjas!!

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Yes, I am alive. Mostly

It’s Tuesday again. Grab a badge, share some snarky and go see Keely. Unless you want her to use her mad ninja skills and hunt you down.

* Did you know that celebrities are way more important than we are?  No?  Well, read the news.

* The Tyrant was watching her sisters act like fools the other day.  She placed her head in her palm and shook her head.  With a big sigh, she said, “I MUST be adopted.” 

Sorry, kid, you are not… and you are stuck with them.

* I made deal with the Mother Hen.  Good grades = Supernatural on DVD.  She then asked me how long she had to have the good grades before she got them… 

WickedStepMom: For the semester.

Mother Hen: Crap!

* The Show came to me at 8:15pm at Saturday…

The Show: Can drive me to my friend’s house?

WickedStepMom: When?

The Show: Now?

WickedStepMom: Are you insane?

The Show: What?

WickedStepMom: I am not driving you a 1/2 hour to pick you up 15 minutes later.

The Show: Well, yeah, I was hoping you would let me stay out until midnight.

WickedStepMom: (sighs, nods) Yeah, I thought so.  You are completely insane…

The Show: (Stomps off in a huff.)

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Mushrooms are the enemy!!



It is Tuesday. Its time for more random thoughts and purging the mental sludge that has been rolling around my brain all week. Thank goodness Keely thought of this. Otherwise, I would have to torture Bear will all my bloggy fragments. 

* Pizza topping are worth fighitng for in our house.  If you are not careful, you will end up with a whole pizza with mushrooms and pinapple.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy pinapple.  However, mushrooms just aren’t my thing.  And really, there are two members of the Tribe that eat them, everyone else pretty much screams “Eww” like a girl.  (No, Bear does not like mushrooms either…) 

* I made some pork in the crockpot over the weekend.  I added cream of mushroom soup, some garlic and a few other things.  Bear and I thought it smelled delicious.  Everyone else in the house gagged.  (Even the mushroom eaters.)  Turns out the dish smelled very similar to a dish they had eaten before and absolutely hated.  And if you have been reading here for a while, you know dinner time is very dramatic for us.  It was worse than normal.  Mushrooms are officially banned from the house. 

* My sinuses have slowly been getting better.  I haven’t had any nose bleeds in a few weeks and I am having fewer problems over all.  Hopefully, I will be able to skip surgery. 

* Cheer season is coming to an end for The Show.  She is going to have a competition soon and is hoping to make the football sideline cheer team in the fall.  She has really thrived on the sport.  She loved gymnastics when she was younger and now she gets to combine that with her bubbly personality and shout a lot.  This really is a great thing for her.  I hope she can stick with it! 

* I was having a really rough day yesterday.  I am feeling better now.  Bear is always great about making me feel better.  This time, The Mother Hen helped out too.  Its a wonderful feeling to know that you belong and that people care. 

* The Tyrant asked me to issue a warning to call teenage girls out there.  Were-boyfriends are on the loose everywhere.  If they bite you, you turn into one.  So please, protect your necks! 

Random Tuesday Thoughts: The Slacker Edition



Keely, the zombie executioner, is not a slacker. I, however, am a huge slacker. I hope that my lethargy lately has not caused her to think I am a zombie. 

* I am not sure what has gone on lately, but I have been in a writing slump.  I have read other blogs and can think of nothing good, intelligent or funny to say.  I almost feel like I should at least comment something like “WickedStepMom was here.  She just can’t think of what to write today.”  Then people would know that I stopped by.  But, I would have to leave that same comment over and over.  So, people would really start having a problem with me.  ::sigh:  Anyone have any ideas to get me out of the commentary slump? 

* The wii fit and I are back to going steady.  He is just really mouthly.  The other day, I was trying a yoga pose (which I am not very good at because my balance stinks), and it says “You are pretty shaky!  It’s hard to get the correct pose if your core muscles need work!” I just rolled my eyes and continued to try to keep my balance so I would not brain myself on the basement floor. 

* My new ENT has been really wonderful.  He is using the aggressive approach against my sinus gnome.  He made me a special mix of nasal steroids that make my throat burn but the sinus gnome disappear. 

* The Tribe has had a few ups and downs lately.  I think it is partly because the holiday season is over and we are all back to a normal schedule.  And there are no more presents to open.  Settling back into the routine has been a little harder than normal.  I am hoping that we all get back to ourselves soon.

* Two out of three of our girls are dating.  I keep saying boys are icky but they don’t believe me.  So, I am thinking that there may be ice cream and hugs in the near future for one of them.  I just hope that the one left not dating doesn’t feel bad or feel left out.

* It is truly sad when our society is feeling so horrible about itself, that people have to literally get lost in a movie. We watched Avatar and thought the movie was pretty good.  We were entertained and we left the theater after having a good time.  To us, it was just another movie.  But, I really think it says something about our world today when people out there honestly are having depression symptoms because they can not leave in a fantasy world.  It says that we are doing something very wrong.

Random Tuesday Thoughts: G’Home Gnome

Its Tuesday.  It’s not So Random. It’s time for me to get some new jokes. Go see Keely…  she is a comedic genius, and I am just a student.

* The Gnome that has moved into my sinuses has gotten very comfy in there.   He just won’t leave.  Maybe the ENT doc will find a way to get him out.  If not, I think it will turn into nuclear warfare… and that just won’t be good for society as a whole.  I mean, who wants nuclear winter over my sinuses?…  Yeah, I didn’t think that you did.  So, you’re welcome.  But if this goes on too much longer, it is on, Mr. Gnome!

* Bear e-mailed me this morning.  This is what he wrote:

[Bear’s REALLY Annoying Co-Worker]~ said I was too “chipper” this morning and suggested that “If I didn’t know better, you got lucky!”  I said luck had nothing to do with it…killing two homeless people with one shot is SKILL. 
He didn’t laugh. 

~Name changed to be more appropriate this his given name.

* Bear, like my mother, has a very defined set of taste buds.  He does not like to deviate from the normal.  (And he wonders why I can’t get The Tyrant to eat another other than tacos…)  I told him that I was going to take The Mother Hen out for some mediterranean food.

Bear: You hate peas!

WickedStepMom: Chickpeas are different!

Bear: Chickpeas are just peas that stay home and watch chick flicks with Hugh Grant in them.

WickedStepMom: They taste different…

Bear: Chickpeas are just peas that “WANT TO BE HELD!”

(Can you see why I love him?  He is seriously awesome and can always make me laugh.)

* The Mother Hen has a new boyfriend.  He is an okay guy.  The Show and The Tyrant like him, which is saying a lot.  But, I just can’t seem to let my guard down.  I think it is because I have seen boys make The Mother Hen cry.  Stupid, stinky boys…

*The Tyrant looked at me this weekend, with daggers in her eyes.  I wouldn’t let her have a new toy at the store (partly because I had already bought her stuff and partly because there has to be something under the tree).  She stomped her foot and said, “Mommy is nicer than you.”  I grinned, “She is also taller.”  She just blinked at me.

* The Show is really excited about cheerleading.  In order to make the varsity team, she needs to learn to do a back walk over.  I have no idea how to do this, so I suggested she look up how to do it on YouTube.  This was a bad, bad suggestion…

Random Tuesday Thoughts: My head hurts


It’s Tuesday again.  People make my head hurt, with their stupidity.  Go see Keely who only makes people’s heads hurt with large hammers and ice picks.

* The other day, I was returning bottles at the grocery store.  (I don’t think this is something that they do in all states, but here we pay a 10 cent deposit on bottles and can,  and get it back when we return them.)  There was a lady standing by the entrance handing out flyers.  Several people took the flyers and then threw them on the ground.  After watching this several times, curiosity got the better of me. So, I looked at the flyer.  It was a Goodfellows reminder notice that their food drive ends this week…

* Bell ringers are out in force.  Every time we see one, we always give the girls some change to add to the bucket.  It is not much, but it is something that we always do.  One little boy watched my girls dropping money into the bucket.  He looked at his mom and said “Can I have some change too?” The mom said, “No, I am not giving money to those people so that they can waste it on drunks.”

* Sunday night, I had the worst migraine that I have had in a long time.  I asked Bear to shoot me.  He wouldn’t.  I am not sure if I am angry with him over that or not…

* After reading this, I wanted Oreos.  I know, I am sick.

* Two days in a row, I found popcorn in our basement all over the floor.  On the second day, I came unglued.  The Tyrant looked at me with her eyes really wide, “I was not even in the basement.”  I nodded to her and said, “I know, honey.”  She nodded and then gasped, “Ut oh…  They made you mad.  What were they thinking?!  You save us from Daddy’s punishments.  Who is going to save them from yours?”

* This coming weekend, we are going to make holiday cookies.  My mother is going to be joining us for the first time.  I think I am going to get her a poncho.  Bear has already threated the put out tarps.

* We got a new tree this year.  It is white, which is very different for us.  It is also 6.5 feet tall.  Our last one topped out at 3 feet.  The Tyrant had to be lifed up so she could reach the top.

* Speaking of the tree trimming.  We have ornaments with pictures of each kid from every year that we have been a Tribe.  Bear handed The Tyrant her picture ornaments and said, “Put yourself on the tree.”  She grins a wicked little grin and wraps her arms around the tree, “Okay, Daddy, I am on the tree.”

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Okay, I am listening…

It’s Tuesday again.  Time for some random updates, funny quotes and to go see Keely.   But, not if you are a Zombie with the swine flu.  She will have to shot you and won’t appreciate it one bit.

* Bear’s mouth is still hurting.  He has pulled out three more pieces of bone since last Tuesday.  I really hope he has a jaw left when he is finally done with all this nonsense. 

* Since he has been so sore, he tends to eat soft foods.  And cereal because you can soak it a bit so it is not so crunchy.  He mentioned that he liked Boo Berry cereal, so I went on a hunt to find it.  I struck out but, I called in reinforcements.  I called my Mom and my cousin (who works at a grocery store).  My Mom managed to snag some for us.  And my cousin bribed a stock boy to get the last of the Boo Berry set aside for us.  Thanks everyone!! He has been eating Boo Berry everyday.  Its a step up from Apple Jacks, truly.

* The Show and The Tyrant went outside to play in the leaves.  The Mother Hen joined them and they buried The Tyrant until you could no longer see her.  Then, Bear went outside and sat on The Show and they buried her.  This was followed by an all out leaf fight.  Several hours later, The Tyrant started to freak out, “There is something in my eye!  It hurts!  It HURTS!!!”  I tried washing it out, I tried using air and nothing came out.  She still said it hurt.  Using a rag in the corner of her eye, I managed to dislodge a small piece of leaf…

*  I want this book.  If only for entertaining myself when people try to argue with me.

* Yesterday, I was really grumpy.  My day started out bad and got worse.  I was frustrated, short-tempered and probably just plain mean.  Then, I got a phone call from someone I love who was dealing with a real problem.  Not like my petty problems about people arguing or bad drivers.  A real one.  It was my wake up call.  And I looked up to the sky and said “Okay, Universe, I am listening.”  I was karmically put back in my place, which I needed.  No worries though, the problem was solved with no tears, blood or drama.

Random Tuesday Thoughts: The Wrong Mug!

* The last few days have been exhausting.  All I want to do is sleep.  I really hope I am not getting sick again.  But, if I do, I will make sure that I share my germs with the world, as the world has been kind enough to share its germs with me!

*Teenagers are great…  Now that there are two of them in the house, instead of one, life is nothing but rainbows, puppies and pleasantness.  Oh, who I am kidding?  Anyone know of a good military school?

*I can actually bite down again without crying.  I am pretty excited.  I may even eat something more substantial than pudding today.  Though, I will miss my all pudding diet.  Now, having dessert for dinner can’t be justified to three very observant children… <sigh>

* I grabbed Bear’s mug instead of my own this morning, accidently. I am going to be off for the rest of the day.  Both mugs feature pictures of us with the kids.  I am not a large Irishman…  I am a tiny Mexican/Scot.   My feet are too small to fill his shoes, but apparently, I can steal his mug without having to walk around like a clown.

Random Tuesday Thoughts: It’s not sold in stores!

Grab a button, my tooth hurts.  Go away

* Bear pulled another chip of bone out of the hole where his wisdom tooth was.  It was extremely jagged and caused him pain all night.  This is why I don’t feel right whining to him about my tooth hurting.  I mean, I don’t have a broken jaw with bone coming out.  So, I just feel like a huge wuss when I pout about it.  So, suffer internet, you must listen to my complaints!

* Funny Quote of the week is brought to you by The Tyrant, courtesy of Bendaroos in a store:

“But Dad, we have to buy them.  They aren’t sold in STORES!!”

* For Fantasy Football, I lost twice in a row in my family league.  I went from second place to sixth in two weeks.  Stupid San Francisco Defense…  39 points against me.  I hope you choke on a football.  Grr…

*Ever since discovering the Twilight series, The Show has really gotten into reading.  You can find her curled up with a book, any time that she goes missing. Its heart warming.  I have loved reading for a long time and I am so glad that she has found the joys of it.

*I watch two TV shows.  House and FlashForward.  I have missed the most recent episode of both…

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